


Ruthless

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Damereylo Redemption Take Two [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abusive Snoke, Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Badass Kylo Ren, Badass Poe Dameron, Badass Rey, Comfort Sex, Courtroom Drama, Cuddling & Snuggling, Daddy Ben Solo, Daddy Poe Dameron, Dirty Talk, Drunk Poe Dameron, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Epic Battles, Eventual Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren/Rey, Evil Snoke, Explicit Sexual Content, Family Fluff, First Time, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluffy Ending, Force Severing, Force-Sensitive Finn, Fusion of Star Wars Legends and Disney Canon, Gray Jedi Kylo Ren, Gray Jedi Rey, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, I can only assume, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Torture, Injury Recovery, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo Ren Whump, Kylo Ren is a Mess, Lightsaber Battles, Lightsabers, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, Mama Rey, Minor Jessika Pava/Paige Tico, Multi, Oral Sex, Parents Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Poe Dameron, Past Abuse, Penis In Vagina Sex, Pilot Poe Dameron, Pilot Rey, Planet Destruction, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Poe Dameron and Kylo Ren Mutual Pining, Poisoning, Protective Finn, Protective Poe Dameron, Protective Rey (Star Wars), Redeemed Ben Solo, Referenced Mind Rape, Sexism on Snoke’s part, Sexual Fantasy, Shower Sex, Slow Burn Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren, Slow Burn Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren/Rey, Slow Burn Rey/Kylo Ren, Slut Shaming, Snoke Being a Dick, Star Wars The Force Awakens Fix it, Survivor Guilt, Teacher Kylo Ren, Threesome - F/M/M, Torture, Tortured Kylo Ren, Training, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Voyeurism, Wakes & Funerals, abuse recovery, pilot Kylo Ren, which is canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-09-30 16:44:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 24,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17227652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Kylo comes back to the base with Han. Not everyone’s happy to see him.





	1. Return from Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

He came back. 

It was something that Poe ought to be happy about, at least before he saw the lightsaber at his belt. The same lightsaber that Poe had seen ignited on Tuanul when he’d stopped the blaster bolt Poe had shot at him in midair. 

It was something that made Poe’s blood freeze and his heart abruptly splinter in two. It was something that made him feel just as paralyzed as he had during the time that Kylo (that Ben) had frozen him there on Tuanul. 

He’d loved him, and Ben had turned around and done that. And now he came back?

It was Jess who spoke up in that moment. “Poe,” she said. “Are you okay?”

”It’s him.” Poe took a deep, shuddering breath. “It’s Kylo Ren.”

”No, it’s Ben. It’s okay, Poe. You’re safe.”

”Jess, his lightsaber matches up perfectly.”

Jess looked from Kylo to Poe, really looked. Then, “He’s even wearing the same clothes." A beat. “What’s he doing here? Could he have tricked the others?”

”I don’t know.” Poe took a deep breath, forcing himself, in that moment, to be calm. “But he’s not and never will be welcome here. I know that.”

***

Kylo didn’t hear everything Poe and Jess said, but he did hear their thoughts too well. It was something that hurt, and hurt too well, even worse because it was, in the end, true. He wasn’t welcome here. The looks of distrust that the scavenger and FN-2187 gave him were proof enough of that. Just because he’d ultimately gone back home with his father didn’t mean that he was redeemable. His grandfather was redeemable. Kylo wasn’t. 

“You okay, kiddo?” His father’s voice.

Kylo couldn’t say, really. He wished he could. 

***

Just because Han had accepted him back didn’t mean that Rey did. That was all but guaranteed. Rey couldn’t help but feel a twinge of satisfaction just seeing him looking away from the man with dark, curly hair and looking away from her, Han and Finn as well. After what he did, she wasn’t about to accept him freely into the fold. It just didn’t work that way, and it never would. 

Finn just seemed intimidated around him. It just made Rey hate Kylo Ren even more. Whatever he had done to Finn...

She’d never accept him. And that...that was the truth. 


	2. Funeral For Absent Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A funeral, and Poe gets drunk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The room he was given was far too generous for what he had done. He could only assume that his mother was a fool even after all these years — or was she trying to apologize? It didn’t matter. She hated him. She always had. Kylo could sense it, even now. She’d chosen someone else altogether...and that was fine. It wasn’t like he cared about her, or Poe Dameron. He was fine. 

Kylo huddled on the bed, which seemed altogether too small for him. He almost wished he could make himself small. Anything to simply...retreat. Anything, really. 

_You think anyone will want you after what you’ve done?_

The voice sounded too much like Snoke. It was like even now, Snoke was a part of him — like Kylo was possessed by him in more ways than one. The voice continued.  _You’ve doomed the Resistance and First Order both with your weakness, Kylo Ren. It’s your fault. When D’Qar is nothing more than dust, it will be your fault._

Silence. 

_You’re nothing. You’ve always been._

A knock on the door. “Ben? You missed dinner.” His father’s voice. 

“ ‘M not hungry.” Kylo said. 

A sigh. “Can I come in, Ben?”

”Okay.”

The door opened, and Han entered. He looked honest-to-stars worried, which was new — it was a long time since anyone had really looked worried for him. “What’s goin’ on, kiddo?”

”I’m fine.”

Han snorted. “You mean the opposite of that, right?”

”It’s...a lot to take in. I don’t think I’m redeemable.”

Han sighed. “If your uncle thought that Darth Vader was redeemable, there must be at least a chance for you.”

”H — Father...there’s something I need to tell you about Luke. The night I destroyed his Temple.”

Han stiffened. “What happened?”

Slowly, haltingly, Kylo told him. About the nightmares. About the pieces of nightmares that made no sense. About waking up to find Luke towering over him with a lightsaber in hand — and that was when he swore Han Solo actually turned white as a sheet. 

“He what?” Han said. 

“He...had his lightsaber in hand,” Kylo said. “I knew he hated me, but not enough to want to kill me...”

Han actually looked like he didn’t know what to do next. It was like his thoughts had gone nuclear, and Kylo could decipher at least a few stray thoughts in between the white hot fury that threatened to consume his father. _Hurt my boy...tried to hurt my boy and I wasn’t there, couldn’t protect him..._

 _”_ I’m not worth it.” Kylo said. “I...deserved every horrible thing that he did, wanted to do, and tried to do to me.”

”No, you didn’t,” Han said. “I’m so sorry, Ben. If I knew, I would have swooped in and helped you.”

”Could you have?”

”I would have,” Han said. “Anything to save you from whatever Uncle Luke turned into.” A beat. “What happened next?”

Kylo told him the rest. About the others turning on him when they thought he’d killed Luke. About the survivors who came with him. About saying goodbye to Poe. About seeking shelter under Snoke. About everything, and even going into the details of what Snoke had done to him, every bit of abuse, his voice shook. He feared once he started crying, he wouldn’t be able to stop. 

Han nodded. “I’m sorry, kiddo. I should have protected you.”

”Not your fault,” Kylo said. “Nothing you could help."

***

Breakfast came up. Even watching the others, including the scavenger and FN-2187 eating with Poe and his squad, Kylo couldn’t help but feel particularly lonely. He supposed it wasn’t anything new. It was something he’d been familiar with as Ben Solo too, feeling alone no matter how many people were in his life. 

He picked at his food. Even watching Poe sharing a story with FN-2187 and the scavenger, Kylo knew that whatever he had shared with Poe was in the past. Let the past die, Snoke had told him once, and Kylo had taken it to heart. And yet...

”Try to eat something, kiddo,” Han said. 

Even the food tasted unappetizing. It reminded Kylo of one of those meals that Snoke had given him in order to “purify” him. The sorts that were scant at most. 

Across the room, Poe was still talking with the scavenger and FN-2187, though Kylo could swear that his eyes drifted occasionally over towards him. In his mind, he could detect his thoughts too well: _hate him, hate that I loved him, needed him, need him still..._

Kylo slammed down his tray too roughly, fled the mess hall. He thought he could hear his father call for him, that he couldn’t just run away, but Kylo did anyway. 

***

Breathe. Breathe. He found himself forcing air into his lungs as he forced himself to calm down. If there was anything he’d learned, it was that he was a monster. Unworthy and unwanted equally. What exactly anyone could do to hate him was really nothing compared to what Kylo could do to himself. 

And Poe loved him, even though he wasn’t worthy of it. Unworthy, he knew. Completely, utterly unworthy. He wasn’t that good. Just because he’d defied the First Order didn’t mean he was worthy of anything. 

Footsteps. Han’s footsteps. Slowly, Kylo turned around, and Han said, “You okay?”

”It’s Poe. His thoughts...I wasn’t even consciously reading them. He said he loved me, or that he hated that he loved me, and I couldn’t believe it...”

”Just breathe, kiddo,” Han said. “Breathe.”

Slowly, Kylo did. He still couldn’t believe the declaration in Poe’s head that had made him panic. That Poe had loved him. He could stay steady, though. He could. 

Yes. He could. 

***

He stayed as far away from Poe as he could that day at the funeral for those who hadn’t returned from Starkiller Base. He kept stealing the occasional glances at Poe, dressed in black, looking terribly handsome all the while, only to duck back when Poe actually got a glimpse of him. It was cowardly, he knew it, and yet there was a part of him that wanted to curl into a little ball and hide. He hadn’t wanted to hurt Poe. This he knew. Circumstances had — 

No, he’d chosen to. He hadn’t wanted to, but he’d chosen to in the end. 

His mother was the one who led the eulogy and the name-reading. She did a good job, Kylo thought, but then again she was made to do a good job when it came to things like this. 

The ceremony ended, and it was time for the afterparty. 

_***_

The problem with drinking was that once you got started, it was hard to actually stop. 

So was the case for Poe. He already felt like he needed to get horribly, horribly drunk, and this was the perfect opportunity. His comrades were dead. He’d failed his mission — if not for Rey, Kylo Ren would have found the map. Et cetera et cetera. And Ben had hurt him. Broken his heart twice.

Jess turned to look at him. “I really think you’ve had enough, Poe.”

”You’re not my mother!”

Jess was unfazed. Then, “Would a friend who’s worried about you count?”

Poe downed another glass of Corellian ale. He sighed. “I’m sorry, Jess.” He belched not long after he said that, and groaned softly. “Just...kriff, I’m really messed up, aren’t I?”

”You’re not,” Jess said. 

“I am.” Poe sighed even as he spoke. “I failed the mission. I just...let the bastard invade my head.”

”You fought,” Jess said gently. 

“Fat lot of good that did.” Poe sighed as he spoke. “Stars, to think I would have given everything to fight off his demons. I didn’t expect what he’d do next.”

”No one did.”

”I hate that I love him.”

”Poe...”

“I do,” Poe insisted. “I love him so much.” A beat. “I do.”

Jess nodded, solemnly. Then, “Let’s get you back to your room.”

” ‘M not that drunk, Jess.”

”You’re pretty drunk. I mean...I know you love him, Poe. And we care about you. We’re not participating in your own suicide.”

” ‘M fine, dammit!”

It was then that General Organa came over. “Miss Pava, do you want to take him back to his room?”

Jess nodded. She slung an arm over her shoulder even as Poe protested weakly, even as they headed out. The last thing he saw was Kylo discreetly slipping through the back door on his way out. 

 


	3. The Mourning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe wakes up from his hangover. Other things occur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

“Ugh...”

Saying that Poe felt terrible after his hangover was putting it mildly. It pounded in his head like drums, and he saw that Finn and Jess were standing over him, looking worried. “Stang, what did I...do last night?”

”Mostly rambled,” Jess said. “About Ben.”

”Oh stars...did Finn hear it too?” 

Finn nodded. “He must have been a hell of a guy...or a hell of a monster.”

”He didn’t use to be,” Poe said. His head was still throbbing, and he hated it. Whatever he’d been drinking had obviously made him sick, so he wasn’t trying that again. 

“He must have been to hurt you that way,” Finn said. 

“Honestly, I don’t know why,” Poe finally said. “I’ll be damned if I know.” _Maybe I wasn’t enough for him. Maybe he was just a monster. Maybe...maybe..._

Finn nodded solemnly. “You need comfort food,” he said. “Here’s hoping the mess hall has it.”

Poe was relatively subdued at the table even as the others talked amongst themselves. The last piece of the map to Skywalker was in hand, and all they needed to do was find, at least, where Luke was hiding. That was good news, at least. At least they could have some hope in all this. Maybe even some answers as to what happened to Ben. 

Speaking of Ben, Kylo was sitting with his father as usual, picking at his food. Poe could have felt sorry for him if not for his anger. How could he? How could he have that kicked kath hound look after what he did, like he was the victim here? After what he’d done to so many people? He didn’t think that anger and pity could coexist, but here he was...

Poe dug into his food, hoping that at least would help with the hangover. 

***

_He loves me._

It seemed that even now, Kylo couldn’t wrap his head around it. Even after he’d tortured Poe. Even after Tuanul, and others. True, Poe hated that he loved him, but at least Kylo would know what to do with hate. The scavenger hated him, and that was fine with him. Poe...

Even That Idea was enough to make Kylo panic. It wasn’t like he was entirely unloved — his father was proof of that. But thanks to his uncle, he was used to feeling like a generally-unworthy being, unworthy of love altogether. His uncle wasn’t blatant, but Ben Solo had still felt his disgust and fear. Luke had never hit him, but his thoughts and words left marks that cut deep, if only on the inside. 

He wasn’t worthy. Stars willing, when he was a boy, Poe had been everything to him. But that was the problem — a radiant sun couldn’t love someone as tainted and broken as Ben Solo back. 

They finished breakfast, and it was there that Kylo overheard the chatter about Luke. His blood, which was already running cold thanks to contemplating what Poe said, practically froze.

”Do you want to talk to your mother about it?” Han said. “Really?”

Kylo paused. After a while, slowly, he nodded. 

***

”It can’t be.”

General Organa looked like she had been struck by a runaway speeder. Then, “Are you sure?”

Kylo nodded. “Very.”

General Organa sighed. “I wish I could say you were lying, but...I feel that you’re as truthful as can be. And it would make sense. Luke...couldn’t look us in the eye the morning after the Temple burned down.”

Kylo was impassive. “It sounds like him.”

”We’ll have to bring Luke in,” General Organa said. “And it hurts me to do it, but he has to at least explain why.”

”And then what?” Han said. 

General Organa sighed. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it,” she said. “It’s the best we can do. I’m so sorry, Ben.”

Kylo winced. “I’m not...ready for that name yet.”

”Who are you then?”

Kylo smiled bitterly. “Good as nobody. Just Kylo.”

”Kylo,” General Organa said, “You’re not nobody. Not to any rational observer.”

Kylo could suppose she was seeing it through a mother’s rose-tinted goggles. There was no other explanation. 

***

”What the kriff did you tell the General?”

To say that Poe Dameron was furious was a lot like saying that Manaan’s oceans were moist. It was both obvious and an understatement. He’d confronted Kylo on the way back to his quarters, when Han wasn’t around. 

“Only what she needed to know,” Kylo said. 

“Bantha crap,” Poe snapped. “I thought it was bad enough that you came back making yourself look like a kicked kath hound, but this? Now you’re manipulating the General? You think your mother’s going to just give you a slap on the wrist after what you did?”

Kylo snorted. “Oh, get over yourself. You think that I’m capable of that? How exactly evil do you think I am?”

”I — ”

”You don’t know anything about me,” Kylo snapped. “Where I came from, what Skywalker did to me. That was what I was telling the General — what he did.” A beat. “And you of all people should know better about things you say.”

”What?!”

”That confession you made. You think I didn’t overhear it?”

”What I say when I’m drunk is none of your kriffing business.”

”Maybe you should have thought about it before you shared it with Miss Pava?"

”That doesn’t mean you can just listen in.”

”If it were any louder, you would have been screaming it.”

Silence. Poe’s glare said everything Kylo needed to know. Kylo continued. “Even if you did, it doesn’t matter. Everything Skywalker did...you only saw an idea, just because he was a friend of your parents. He hated me. And don’t tell me what I saw and heard and felt, because you weren’t there. After what he thought of me, you accusing me of being manipulative is nothing new.”

”He...” But Kylo could feel Poe remembering. Reconsidering, reprocessing. And he no doubt remembered the times Ben had come back from Luke’s lessons looking like he’d withdrawn into himself. 

Kylo continued. “You’ve never had to experience it because everybody loved you. Everyone still does. You had parents who actually liked having you around, and relatives who didn’t think you were evil from a young age. You had everything. Almost everything. Skywalker made sure I had nothing just for his own narcissistic pleasure.” 

Silence. Now it was Poe’s turn to look honest-to-stars like a kicked kath hound. Then, “Yeah, maybe I did have almost everything. But I didn’t have my mother. And I didn’t have you. And...maybe I wasn’t enough. I tried to be. I wanted to be.” 

That Kylo couldn’t say he was prepared for. “It was nothing that was your fault.”

”Then why did you leave me?” Poe was calm, and yet he sounded and looked very, very alone. 

“I had to,” Kylo said. “Skywalker tried to kill me.”

Poe actually looked like he’d been struck. Then, “If he did, why didn’t you come to me? I could have protected you.”

” _I_ was trying to protect _you_.”

“And look how that turned out,” Poe said bitterly. 

Kylo sighed. “It gave me no pleasure doing it. If Hux’s men hadn’t beaten you so badly, if Snoke hadn’t...made it clear what I needed to do...” He could still remember Force Lightning shooting out of the hologram of Snoke, shocking him. The continuous onslaught of abuse that Snoke had dealt him. Skywalker and Snoke could have been mirror images of each other for how much they hated him. 

“So you thought it was better off with you? I could have handled Hux. I couldn’t have handled you.”

Kylo looked at him, really looked at him, his wide, vulnerable eyes. 

“Why do you think I didn’t show up until later?” Kylo said. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

”You could have come with me. You went with your dad.”

”It doesn’t mean I’m redeemable. You know this.”

A nod from Poe. “Well, I guess we’ll see about that."

“I don’t know. Goodnight.” 

Kylo turned around, headed off to bed. 

Even slumping on the bed, Kylo couldn’t help but drift back to Poe’s kicked kath hound look when he had said that Poe had almost had everything. I didn’t have you, Poe had said. And, maybe I wasn’t enough. But Poe was enough. More than enough, actually. In the end, it was Skywalker, and Snoke...and himself. It had been Ben Solo’s fault. 

He was weak and foolish like his father, so I destroyed him. That was what Kylo had said. And Ben was weak. Hadn’t been strong enough to see through Snoke’s manipulations. Hadn’t been —

Kylo sighed. He wasn’t looking forward to getting to sleep. But he did, and his dreams were a mess of Snoke and Poe — and somehow, the scavenger. 


	4. Metaphorical Thermal Detonators

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything goes to hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Saying that Kylo was confused was putting it mildly. Even in between nightmares about Snoke, he’d had more pleasant dreams about Poe. And the scavenger, oddly enough. In the dream, she wasn’t hating him, and Poe wasn’t having a mixture of love and hate towards him. Kylo supposed that he could understand Poe, but why the scavenger, really? Did Force users ever get dreams that never quite made sense? 

Ben Solo had never gotten the luxury of those dreams. Mostly recurring nightmares that seemed like the pieces to a puzzle. A twisted, terrible puzzle where he didn’t like knowing the answers. He envied the people whose worst dream was being naked in public. At least that was more funny when you woke up, as opposed to frightening. 

And to make matters worse, it seemed that his body was confused as to how to react. Snoke made his skin crawl. The scavenger...she hated him, and he couldn’t say he cared for her either.

But Poe...

Even remembering the dream, where Poe had touched him so gently and kissed him so tenderly, he wanted more than anything for it to be real. He truly did. It never could be, and yet he wanted it to be. Poe’s hands on his body, Poe’s lips on his own. 

It couldn’t be. And yet...

Growling in frustration at his inability to get back to sleep, Kylo headed towards the showers. They were fortunately empty even as Kylo disrobed, turned on the shower water. It hit his body, warm and soothing, working out the cricks in his muscles. There was something in him where he hated his body and didn’t look too long at it, but he wasn’t thinking about that as much as the fantasies that had visited him last night. In those fantasies, he wasn’t broken, but whole. 

He felt grungy. Despite himself, he found himself sliding soap over his wet skin, thinking about Poe’s hands on his body, his lips on his, and his body burned and ached at the thought. His skin felt, suddenly, too sensitive to touch. His nipples felt sensitive and his shaft heavy, and what was he doing thinking this way?

Poe wouldn’t — and yet he would. 

And Kylo, stars willing, held him dear, even now. 

Kylo smoothed his soapy hands along his chest — his soapy chest, his too-thick chest. He imagined that those were Poe’s hands, nimble and slender and small, pilot’s hands. How would Poe look, doing all this? Would he watch, wanting Kylo? 

Kylo paused. He was, truthfully, afraid. He wasn’t desirable in any way, shape or form. Not physically or psychologically, at least. Poe was desirable. Kylo wasn’t. 

And yet...

Kylo leaned his head back, letting the water spray his face. At least, for the moment, he could pretend.

***

”You doing okay?” Kare said to Poe. They were at breakfast, even as Kylo emerged, heading to his usual table, hair a wet mess. Poe couldn’t help but notice that he looked...adorable, all things considered. It wasn’t something that he would ordinarily associate with an ex-Knight of Ren, but there they were. His eyes appeared wider and almost doe-like, reminding Poe of when Ben was eighteen and Poe twenty-one, and when they’d gone swimming in Yavin’s falls. They’d gotten quite wet, and Poe couldn’t help but stare at how Ben’s hair clung to his damp skin. 

Now...it was odd thinking of that at breakfast, but it was the truth. 

“Yeah. I am.” Poe didn’t mention his dream last night, a reality where Ben was happy and his. How his lover had kissed him, and how much more heated it had gotten. It was just wishful thinking, and yet Poe fancied that he could still feel Ben’s — not Kylo’s — hands on his body and lips on his skin. He wanted it to be true. Even if it could never be. 

“You don’t look okay,” Kare said. “Ever since...Ren got to the base, you’ve been acting weird.” A beat. “I overheard what you said about him at...at the funeral.”

”Oh, stars,” Poe groaned. 

“Not your fault. It’s his,” Kare said. “Did he try and hurt you at all?”

Poe sighed. “He...said some things.”

”He’s just sad and pathetic.”

”He said Luke tried to kill him.”

Kare looked like she’d been frozen. Then, “He could have been lying.”

”I don’t know,” Poe said. “I mean, I know Luke treated him horribly, but I don’t think he’d try to kill him.”

In a way, later, when General Organa told them what Kylo had apparently told her, Black Squadron was prepared. Everyone else wasn’t. And even looking around the room, Poe could tell that everything was going to the Corellian hells from there. 


	5. Sparring Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo train together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Almost everyone had cleared out of the room when General Organa ordered it except Rey. She didn’t know how to react to this recent piece of news about Luke if she was to be perfectly honest. She couldn’t picture Luke of all beings trying to kill his own nephew. If that had set him on the road to the Dark Side...

It didn’t excuse his actions. But the very thought of Luke trying to kill his nephew when he had been so willing to save his father was all but inexplicable. It didn’t make sense. She knew, somehow, that it was true — the Force was telling her as much. But at the same time...

Kylo looked unexpectedly alone. She hadn’t thought that she would get around to pitying him, but here she was. It was one of those things she hadn’t expected. She approached him cautiously. “Lord Ren...” She didn’t know what to call him. “Ben” seemed too personal. “Kylo” was too informal. As was “Ren”. What did you call somebody who refused to be called by his birth name?

Kylo raised his head. “Call me Kylo.”

”All right. Kylo. I can’t believe I’m asking this, but are you all right?”

”If it’s any comfort, I can’t believe I’m talking to you,” Kylo said. “I’m...not all right. I don’t know if I will be.”

Rey bit her lip. She didn’t expect to be feeling pity for him, but the past few days had been strange ones indeed. “Why did your uncle try to kill you? I don’t understand.”

”I don’t know. I do know he hated me.”

”Family members don’t hate each other.”

Kylo tilted his head. “Is that your perspective...”

”Rey.”

”Right, Rey. Is that your perspective? Considering what I saw, you’re very naive about your own family.”

”That’s none of your business.”

”It’s curious, that’s all.”

Rey took a deep breath. Then, “My family didn’t hate each other. Not like your uncle apparently did.”

Kylo nodded. Then, “My uncle was a self-righteous and deluded man.”

”That doesn’t line up with the Luke I heard about.”

Kylo snorted. “Legends can be exaggerated. Or outright lied about.”

”Why did you go to Snoke?”

Kylo was quiet for a while. “I was nineteen at the time. I thought Snoke could finish my training. When I first met him, he seemed charismatic and wise and powerful. Everything a master should be. I thought I would be safe with him, along with the survivors of the Temple. It wasn’t until later that I saw glimpses of his temper, glimpses of his cruelty. You no doubt heard on the bridge that Snoke was using me for my power. I suppose I knew it all along...I just kept it hidden away.” A beat. “It’s not an uncommon coping mechanism.”

Rey nodded. She supposed Kylo’s initial motivations made sense, even if his actions didn’t. She knew enough about running to safety, and survival. And yet... “And the Temple?”

”A miscommunication. They thought I had killed Skywalker. The Academy turned on each other like tu’kata fighting over the last scrap of meat, and that was how it was destroyed.” A beat. “What do you make of me, Rey?”

”I don’t condone what you did,” Rey said. “But I can understand somewhat why. I’ve had to survive too.”

Kylo nodded. “There was actually something I was wondering about, Rey.”

”What do you mean?” Rey said.

”When you pushed me out of your mind, I realized that you had more potential than I imagined. There’s something very odd about you, though I can’t put my finger on it.”

”I don’t know how I did it either,” Rey said.

”You’re strong. Untrained, but stronger than you know. You need a teacher, and I need a second chance. If it’s at all possible, I could train you.”

”In the Dark Side?” Rey didn’t like thinking about it.

”I’ve turned my back on the Dark Side,” Kylo said. “I want to teach you how to fight the First Order, however I can.”

Rey hesitated. She didn’t just want to be Kylo’s second chance, and yet...

”I don’t quite trust you,” she said. “But I do need help. I don’t know what’s going to happen to Luke, and...” She sighed. “I suppose the enemy of my enemy is my friend, whether I like it or not.”

Kylo nodded. “Surely there’s a training room on the base. I hope.”

It was once they got to the training room that Rey looked around. It was vast, she had to admit that. There were multiple training weapons in the room, including quarterstaffs and other double-bladed weapons. Kylo looked around. “It’s not the training room I used,” he said, “But it’s adequate.”

“What’s it matter?” Rey said.

”We’ll have to make do with what we have,” Kylo said. “We’re not using lightsabers. Mostly, I’m testing your most basic skills with combat.” A beat. “Have you ever dueled before, Rey?”

”I’ve had to take care of myself more than once,” Rey said.

Kylo nodded. “Dueling is different from that. It’s not just bludgeoning people.”

Rey winced indignantly.

”I have no doubt you are a skilled fighter,” Kylo said. “But it’s a different kind of fighting style. It takes a different skillset. You’re used to fighting with staffs and blasters. Lightsabers...” He ignited his lightsaber, twirled it about in a gesture that Rey had to admit was impressive, graceful even. At least, it shouldn’t have given her the funny feelings in her stomach that she had. “They’re a different beast.”

Rey snorted. “Show off,” she said. “You are a show off.”

”Perhaps a bit. If you were training with a Jedi, they’d teach you about meditation. Meditation very rarely wins a war, though. You can’t exactly meditate the First Order to death.”

”A joke?” Rey said. “You’re making jokes now?” She couldn’t say she knew how to feel about this new side of Kylo Ren. It seemed he found new ways to surprise her.

”You’re surprised?”

”Well,” Rey said, “I didn’t expect it.”

Kylo didn’t smile, but Rey swore that she saw a bit of a twinkle in those dark eyes that she couldn’t say she minded at all.

”But truly, combat and survival will be how we win. Not passivity and meditation. We’ll start with the basics first. Melee weapons only, no use of the Force.”

”How honorable of you,” Rey said wryly. “You think I can’t handle myself?”

”We’re taking small steps. Besides, I doubt Kalonia will appreciate either one of us landing in medbay.”

”Right.” 

They fought with quarterstaffs. Even dueling Kylo, Rey had to be impressed by his grace and skill. This was a man who had trained in combat for quite some time. She knew how to fight dirty on Jakku, though, had been trained for survival since she was five, and she knew the tricks. They were evenly matched, but when Rey got the upper hand...stars was it exhilarating.

Kylo stood up in that moment after a while of lying on the floor with Rey standing over him, and looked at her in admiration. “I knew you were gifted. I didn’t know how much.”

Rey could have sworn that her stomach did flip-flops at the word “gifted”. No one had used that word with her before. “Really?”

”Really.”

Rey smiled faintly. “I had...practice.”

”And it looks like it’s paid off,” Kylo said. “I think you’ve given quite a few of my students a run for their credits.”

”You...trained the Knights of Ren?”

Kylo nodded. “They were more like my comrades than my students, however.” He sighed. “I can only hope that I can get them out of Snoke’s grip. He’ll find another student and do to them what he did to me.”

”We’ll rescue them,” Rey said. “And that’s a promise.”


	6. Evacuation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Snoke catches up to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

,He shouldn’t be jealous. For all intents and purposes, he should be worried for that girl, Rey, that Kylo was hanging out with, but in addition to that, Poe couldn’t help but be jealous. Even as they sat at dinner in the mess hall, BB-8 not far from Poe’s side, Poe couldn’t help but feel an unpleasant twinge of resentment. They’d split into separate groups, Poe and the rest of Black Squadron on one end, Kylo and Rey on the other. The rest of Black Squadron wasn’t up for talking to Kylo. Poe couldn’t blame them. 

 _The two Force users and the pilot squadron._ Rose Tico was off with two other Resistance soldiers taking Luke into custody. So Paige was also at their table, sending Kylo some distrustful looks all the while. Poe had to agree with her. All while feeling an unpleasant sort of sensation that suggested that Rey just shouldn’t be talking to Kylo, and occasionally having that look on her face like she found some of his stupid jokes funny, like Poe had once upon a time...

”Can’t you two give it a rest?” Poe said. 

Rey and Kylo looked up at him. Kylo spoke, his voice icy. “Contrary to what you think, I can be trusted with your new friend, Commander Dameron.”

”Bantha crap,” Poe snapped. “How do I know you’re not corrupting her?”

He could have sworn Kylo actually winced. Then, “I turned my back on the Dark Side long ago. And besides, if I wanted to corrupt her, I wouldn’t be doing it at the dinner table.”

”Pity you didn’t turn your back on the Dark Side earlier.” Poe muttered. 

Snap muttered something about needing to check on his X-wing and left. Poe sighed. Kylo, meanwhile, said, “Yes, perhaps I should have.”

“Then why didn’t you do it?” 

Kylo was quiet for a while. Poe continued. “You had family who gave a damn about you. You had...” 

He trailed off. He couldn’t bear to finish the sentence. 

“Someone had to finish my training,” Kylo said. 

“And that was all that mattered to you?”

”And protection.”

Poe could have sworn he’d been hit. Then, “I...”

Kylo continued. “You think I didn’t care about you? In any way?”

It should have been everything Poe wanted to hear. In the end, he supposed that he loved Ben Solo and always would, but he didn’t know if he could trust Kylo Ren. Or Kylo. Or whatever he was calling himself now. 

***

Rose Tico walked through the door of General Organa’s office with two other Resistance soldiers, Luke Skywalker in cuffs. She hadn’t pictured, of all things, putting a former hero of the Rebellion in cuffs, but he had been really reluctant to leave the island, and arresting him to bring him back to the Resistance had been the best course of action. At least at the time. General Organa looked at her. “You found him?”

Rose nodded. “Didn’t think of putting him in cuffs, but it was the best thing we could do.” Even in her head, though...it wasn’t just that this was her first arrest, but it was Luke Skywalker. It just felt wrong. 

General Organa nodded. “Thank you, Rose. I’ll deal with him.”

Rose nodded. Even as she walked away, she could vaguely hear General Organa and Luke Skywalker’s conversation, things that sounded like “Your own nephew, Luke. Why?” and “I saw darkness in him.”

So Kylo Ren hadn’t been lying. As if things couldn’t feel any more wrong. 

Rose supposed she couldn’t tell Jess. It would kill her. Truly. Best she could do was get back to the mess hall when she heard the alarms going off on the base. 

She had to get to the mess hall, find Paige. It was the best thing she could do. 

***

“Kylo? Are you all right?”

Rey’s voice. Even in the midst of the alarms going off, Kylo could still feel it, that familiar smothering hot presence that threatened to suffocate everything. Even Poe was by his side, even as he rubbed his temples. 

“Snoke’s here,” he said. “It’s because of me. He’s going to destroy us all...”

”Not today he isn’t,” Poe said, and the soft yet determined way he said things was enough to make Kylo reassured in that moment. He shouldn’t, not from someone who hated him and deservedly so. “I’m going to the hangar.”

Kylo already felt the Force shrieking a warning. “We’re going with you. Both of us. You’re in danger.”

Poe nodded. “I know.”

”No, more than that,” Kylo said. 

Poe paused. He obviously wasn’t ignorant of the warnings the Force could give anyone keen enough to listen to it. Then, “Follow me then.”

They ran. And they reached the hangar, just in time to see a group of stormtroopers in there. One of them threw a grenade towards them —

— only for Kylo to freeze it. To freeze the trooper. Even as Poe drew his blaster and the two Force users drew their lightsabers, they fought their way through the hangar, towards three X-wings they could use. 

***

Poe got in Black One, and turned on the comm. “What do you think, Rey, Ben? How are you doing?”

He heard Rey’s shout of glee over the comm, loud enough to cause a moment of feedback in his headset. “I like this! I’ve never flown in an X-wing before.”

Poe smiled. “You’ll love it. Ben?”

”Kylo,” Kylo said. “Are the others coming?”

Sure enough, there were footsteps. Poe turned around, only to see Jess, Kare and Snap, among the others. He said, “Yeah.”

Once the others were reported in, Poe said, “Let’s go. We can at least buy the Resistance some time to get away.”

They took off. And it was reaching the sky that Poe saw Snoke’s ship, among others, all but looming against the stars like a massive bird of prey, its sides like giant wings. Poe nodded. “I’ll distract them.” 

“He’ll break you,” Kylo said. “Or kill you.”

”I know. I have to give the Resistance a chance. And all of you.” Poe took a deep breath and patched through to the _Supremacy_. “Attention! This is Commander Poe Dameron of the Resistance fleet. If Supreme Idiot Snoke is here, I want to speak with him.”

”Don’t provoke him,” Kylo warned.

A low, rumbling voice came over the comm system. “This is Supreme Leader Snoke of the First Order. And you must be Poe Dameron. Where is my apprentice?”

***

Kylo normally feared no one. And yet, even as he heard Snoke’s voice over the comm system, he stiffened. He thought of prior punishments — Force Lightning, Force choking, even mental invasions. Even those would pale next to what Snoke would do to Rey and Poe. 

“Ah,” Snoke said, and his voice took on a slithery edge. “My treacherous apprentice. A few pretty sounding words from your father and you turned your back on the First Order?”

Kylo froze. 

“Kylo.” Rey’s voice, over the comm. “We’re right behind you.”

“Have you nothing to say, boy?”

Kylo swallowed. “I couldn’t kill him,” he said. 

“I should have known. Weak to the last, that’s you. Stupid boy.”

Poe spoke up. “The only stupid one here is you, Snoke. And the war’s going to end here.”

Silence. Then Snoke started laughing. “You want to kill me? How noble of you. You’re so much like other Resistances throughout history; you feed off anger and hate and your own arrogance.”

”And speaking of arrogance,” Poe said. “Anyone tell you you talk too much?” A beat. “Punch it, BB-8!”

Poe shot towards the _Supremacy_ and after a moment of shock, Kylo followed, as did Rey and the others. Kylo fired at the turrets, using the Force to pick out their location. With he, Rey and Poe together, the turrets were taken offline, and Kylo couldn’t help but smile. “Now what?”

”We’ve got an opportunity to blow Snoke out of the sky,” Poe said. “We might as well use it.”

Kylo’s smile widened. “Of course. I can do that.”

“Good. We’re going to protect the bombers. Best we can do." Poe added, “Tallie, you ready?”

A rather peppy female voice sounded over the comm. “Not every day we get a shot at Snoke’s flagship. Let’s make it count. We’re starting our approach.”

“Rey, Poe and I will take out the other ships,” Kylo said. “We can handle this.”

They took off. And taking out the other ships’ turrets — even as they did it, Kylo could feel other bombers fall in the Force. He hadn’t expected to get attached to the Resistance he’d spent a decade fighting, but here he was. Over the comm, his mother’s voice sounded. “What are you doing?”

”Buying you time,” Poe said. “And hopefully, ending the war.”


	7. Battles Just Begun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A battle is won, and Poe and Kylo grow closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

When Paige Tico dropped the payload, Kylo felt it. It was a large explosion — and then the  _Supremacy_ falling apart. He turned around, and he thought that he saw an escape pod shooting towards the planet below. Snoke’s escape pod. He shot after it, willing to let Snoke pay for everything he had done to him over the course of a decade, and more —

“Kylo!” His mother’s voice. “You did it. You destroyed the Supremacy. Now get back to the ship so we can all leave.”

”He’s too evil to leave alive,” Kylo said.

A sigh over the comm. “You think I don’t know that? But we need to get out of here.”

”And let Snoke go?”

”No one could survive hurdling towards a planet like that,” his mother said. “Really.” A beat. “Please, Kylo. Come back home.”

His father’s voice sounded over the comm. “You can stop, kiddo.” And it struck Kylo — somehow, both of them, despite not being Jedi, were worried for his soul.

He took a deep breath, hoping that he’d made the right decision. “Let’s go home.”

They shot into hyperspace at the rendezvous point, leaving Snoke’s men behind. 

***

The Supreme Leader was injured. It would have been tempting to just leave him, but that would have been too obvious for Hux. He had to bide his time, even though he should have been Supreme Leader, no, Emperor, from the very start. 

“General?” Mitaka spoke up. 

Hux took a deep breath. “Send a squad to the wreckage,” he said. “And get a medical capsule.” 

They had lost a valuable base for themselves, but the war was not over. The war would continue, and they would punish these criminals and degenerates however they could. 

***

On the _Raddus,_ the others were already drinking, cheering and celebrating. “I can’t believe we took down Snoke’s flagship!” Snap said. “We should have gotten a recording or something; Paige just kicked that bastard’s cargo hold all over the galaxy.”

Paige, who was sitting with her girlfriend Jessika at the moment, grinned shyly. “I had help,” she said. “I mean, Rey, Poe and Kylo did some helping. So did Tallie. And others.” A beat. “We were fortunate,” she said, holding her crescent-shaped medallion, “To survive that night.”

Poe turned to look at Kylo, who looked completely unaccustomed to actually being acknowledged as a hero in his own right. His heart ached. He knew that Luke had said things that were hurtful, but never to the point of Kylo doubting the potential he had for good. 

He spoke up. “We were all heroes. And we might not have won the war yet, but we’re on our way. Kylo...I’m proud of your part in this. Yours, Rey’s, Paige’s, Tallie’s, everyone’s.” A grin. “Now come on; let’s celebrate.”

The others drank and mingled and sang songs. Poe, meanwhile, walked over towards Kylo and sat next to him. “Kylo...I have something to tell you.”

Kylo raised his head. “I had no idea how much I wanted someone to be proud of me.”

”You think your father never was? That I never was?” 

“I doubt you could ever be. A sun can’t be proud of the being it shines on.”

”I’m...” How did he explain that he wasn’t like that at all? That he was only sentient, that he lost his temper, that he wasn’t always right? 

“I’m not worthy.”

Poe took Kylo’s hands in his and cradled them. “Yes, you are.”

He could swear that his own heart sped up even as he held Kylo’s hands. Just the fact that they were touching and being touched, even if it was just for comfort. He couldn’t help but notice the feel of Kylo’s hands, large yet strangely graceful, his dark eyes that seemed enormous in that moment as he was feeling things too much and —

Poe had to stop. If he didn’t, he’d fall straight into the sea of Kylo, and as much as he still loved Ben Solo, as much as he was starting to trust Kylo again...he didn’t know if he was ready for this. 

Was Kylo still the same? And what about Rey? Where did she fit in to all this? 

Poe didn’t know. Kylo mercifully didn’t say anything; maybe he was worried too much about the spell being broken. But they would find a way to move forward, no matter what it took. 


	8. Rebuilding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo decide to build their lightsabers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Hyperspace travel was long. That was a given.  Considering that they were heading towards Crait in order to get some degree of safety there, doubly so. At least they had some degree of time to actually bond, which was good. Some of the crew were already getting restless from being on a ship that long, but Poe couldn’t say they had much of a choice. 

He passed the time by hanging out with Black Squadron, and hanging out additionally with Rey and Kylo. He actually saw them training a lot, mostly by (reluctantly on Kylo’s part) meditating and such, and there was something about seeing Kylo at peace, just for a moment, that was enough to warm Poe’s heart. Kylo did deserve to be at peace, fundamentally. And Rey...he was starting to like her. Her enthusiasm for the small things was enough to make Poe feel a strange tug of affection towards her. 

He couldn’t quite shake the jealousy. But what if Rey and Kylo were good for each other? What if she was making him better — more than he ever could, really? 

Poe didn’t know. He just hoped they were both happy. They needed to be. 

***

It was in the midst of training, reading over some of the old historical records of the Exile Arawn Sinn and her travels, that Kylo shook his head. “The very idea of Atton Rand’s story is...ridiculous.” he said. 

“Why?” Rey said. 

Kylo grimaced. “It’s unrealistic,” he said. 

“You’re calling a piece of history unrealistic?” Rey said wryly. 

“Well, yes,” Kylo said, “But the idea of a bad man being redeemed by a good woman is...preposterous. It simply doesn’t happen.”

”You were redeemed,” Rey said. 

Kylo snorted. “By my father. Not by some poor naive girl who thinks she can save me through ‘the power of love.’” Another grimace, which despite herself, made Rey laugh. “What’s so funny?”

Rey composed herself quickly. “I never thought I’d see that side of you. Or any side of you.”

”It surprises you?”

”It does.” Rey took a deep breath. “Maybe it’s not about the idea of a good woman saving a bad man. Atton was...misguided at most. Thought he was doing the right thing. It doesn’t excuse what he did under Revan, but even so...”

”The road to the Corellian hells is paved with good intentions,” Kylo said. “When I first got older, one of the things Snoke spoke of over our...link was how disordered the galaxy was.”

Rey furrowed her brow. “It seems to be a pattern,” she said. “Dark Siders wanting to rearrange the galaxy in their image.”

”Basically,” Kylo said. “Whether they be Sith or Knights of Ren, most of them have seeds of good intentions. The Jedi, meanwhile...well, they’re borderline useless.”

”That’s not true,” Rey said. “They managed to uphold the peace for generations, didn’t they?”

”While self-destructing,” Kylo said. “The truth is, Rey, I doubt I can go back to the Jedi, but I can’t go back to the Knights of Ren. The Jedi are flawed, and the Knights of Ren are led by a power and glory-hungry monster right out of a bad holofilm.” A beat. “I think who we are is too complex for labels.”

Rey nodded. “It’s strange. I feel like everything I understood through the legends is wrong.”

”Not entirely. But quite a few things about it.”

Silence. 

“Kylo...you remember when we read about Darth Traya earlier, didn’t we?”

Kylo sighed. “She wanted to kill the Force. I doubt she’s really the best example.”

”Not like...that. But if we followed the grayer path...could that work?”

Kylo seemed to be contemplating it. Then he smiled. “You are a genius, Rey.”

And there was something about the way he said the word “genius” that was enough to make Rey’s heart flutter. It shouldn’t have been doing that. Jakku had all but wiped out most of her teenage years; she didn’t have time for things like feeling mynocks in her stomach (as the old saying went). She just didn’t have time. 

But by Ri’ia, Kylo was so beautiful when he smiled. 

***

It was after dinner that Kylo was the one who said, “Have you used a lightsaber before, Rey?”

Rey shook her head. “Maz Kanata...offered me Anakin’s lightsaber, but I couldn’t take it. Finn has it.”

Kylo furrowed his brow. “How did she get it? That lightsaber was lost on Bespin years before I was born.”

Rey shrugged. “I don’t know.” A beat. “Why would I need a new lightsaber?”

”You’re training. It’s also quite efficient in combat, though most Jedi would disagree with you if you said that. It’s rather ironic that they give lightsabers to younglings while preaching pacifism and meditation.”

”Well, it’s not...” Rey paused. Even thinking of a youngling holding a lightsaber was enough to make her shudder. She too had to hold a weapon from a young age, but she wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Younglings were meant to have a childhood, and that was the truth. “How old were you when you built your own lightsaber, Kylo?”

”The first one I built as a teenager. I replaced it with this one during my training with Snoke. Now...now I feel like I need to replace it again. It wasn’t really perfect anyway. The crystal’s cracked, but as we mostly kept to the shadows, we made do with what we had.”

Rey nodded. “Why the crossguards?”

A shrug that seemed almost like Kylo was younger than he was. The sort of shrug that suggested it seemed like a good idea. 

“So what do we need to build a lightsaber?” Rey said. 

“I think the instructions are actually in the texts...”

Even going over the parts (which included a power cell, a kyber crystal, an emitter matrix, and two others), Rey said, “How are we going to find these?”

”Assuming we ever get out of hyperspace,” Kylo said, “Our best bet may be on Dantooine. It has a crystal cave there that may assist us in building our lightsabers.” A beat. “We may have to ask my mother, though.”

”What if Maz could do it?” Rey said. 

Kylo sighed. “I haven’t spoken with her in a long time. I don’t want to know what she thinks of me now.”

”I know.” Rey said. “But it’s not too late to make amends, Kylo. You’re already doing it.”

***

Contacting Maz got off to a bad start. After bellowing his birth name (which he was still uneasy about) probably loud enough that the crew of the Raddus heard it, she had to pry into his personal life as well, which was not relevant, thank you very much.

”How is your girlfriend?” Maz said. 

Kylo sputtered. Of all the things he expected, it wasn’t that. “I — we — we’re not a couple, Maz. She’s my student. Well, my informal student. And my friend. But we’re not...dating.”

Maz smiled, and Kylo could swear he saw a little twinkle in her eye. “Really?” she said wryly. 

“Yes, really.” True, he had started feeling more affectionate towards Rey lately, noticing the small details like her crinkling her nose when she smiled, or her getting excited over learning and accomplishing new things, but it wasn’t possible he was developing feelings for her. Feelings towards two people usually ended in misery. At least if some of the old holos said anything about that. “We were wondering, Maz, if there’s any place to find lightsaber parts. We’re not planning a getaway until we actually get out of hyperspace and to Crait.”

”Oh. That.” Maz nodded. “I’m glad you’re scrapping that red lightsaber, Ben. It hardly suits you.”

”Kylo.” Kylo said. 

Maz looked at him. “Does the name Kylo suit you either? You’re hardly the man you were. When you turned your back on the First Order, you renounced that identity.”

”I’m just not ready to accept the name...Ben yet.” Even that felt like a separate person entirely. 

“You will,” Maz said. “When you’re ready. As for your lightsaber parts, the crystal cave on Dantooine is your best chance. But you must be cautious. The First Order is likely looking for you.”

”We’ll be careful,” Kylo said. 

Maz snorted. “I do hope so, Kylo, for your sake and hers.”

The transmission ended. Kylo had to admit that he should have expected Maz’s lecture about names. He didn’t, though. Was he Ben Solo? He didn’t know. He hadn’t been Ben Solo for a decade. He doubted he could be the same again, really. 

The ship shuddered, coming out of hyperspace over Crait. Kylo looked over at it, what he could see from the side windows. It was a plain planet, but it wasn’t like they needed luxury to figure out where to hide. 

“It’s so desolate,” Rey said softly. 

“I know,” Kylo said. “It’s not like we have a choice.”

***

It was long after they’d settled down on Crait that Rey and Kylo borrowed Poe and Finn for a moment. Kylo was the one who spoke. “FN — ”

”It’s Finn,” Finn said. “And I’m in charge.”

Kylo nodded. “All right...Finn,” he said, and Finn could have sworn that he actually sounded more than a bit awkward, like he was so used to thinking of Finn by his stormtrooper number. Finn prickled a little thinking about it. “I wouldn’t be doing this if not for an offer I’m making you.”

”What kind of offer?” Already, Finn didn’t like where this was going. Kylo and Rey were getting too chummy for his liking, and though Kylo had proven himself in terms of helping take down Snoke’s ship, Finn couldn’t help but worry that he’d hurt Rey somehow. He’d done something to her in that interrogation room, though Rey hadn’t gone into details. 

Rey spoke up. “We’re rebuilding the Order, in a way, and we want you to be part of it.”

Well, Finn hadn’t seen that coming. “You’re kidding.”

Kylo shook his head. “It’s the least I can do after...what I’ve done. And you’re Force Sensitive...Finn. The night I destroyed the Jakku village, I knew there was something special about you.”

”You destroyed a village?” Rey said. 

Kylo nodded. “I’m not proud of it, now that I think of it,” he said. “At the time, I thought they were good as enemy combatants.”

Finn nodded. That lined up, at least. The First Order was pretty good at the whole with-us-or-against-is thing. Anyone who didn’t subscribe to their ideology was good as aiding the Resistance even if they’d done nothing wrong. “It doesn’t excuse anything,” he said, “But it does sound like something the First Order would say.” A beat. “So is this some elaborate plot to turn me to the Dark Side?”

Kylo snorted. “Even if I did, I doubt that there’s a Dark Side bone in you. We’re turning you to the Gray side. Neither Light nor Dark.”

”All right.” Finn couldn’t say he completely followed it. It sounded better, though, than the Dark Side, he’d say that much. “I’ll have to think about it...Kylo. I’ll go with you to keep an eye on Rey.”

”Fair enough,” Kylo said. “Though I can be trusted with her.”

***

The shuttle was big enough for four people. That night, while the others slept, Rey, Kylo, Finn, Poe and BB-8 boarded the shuttle, and took off towards Dantooine. Kylo could only hope that he wasn’t putting all three of them in danger. He doubted he could do that.

But whatever happened, he would defend all three of them to the very last.  


	9. Landing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our motley crew reaches Dantooine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Hyperspace travel was long. Rey knew that much. Even as she watched Poe sleeping next to her (she and Poe had ultimately decided to pilot the shuttle, while Kylo and Finn hung back), she couldn’t help but feel a tug of affection towards him. She envied him. She could never get to sleep very well. She could remember using images of that mysterious island to help her get to sleep, and it usually worked. She could remember lying back in her AT-ST, still hungry but trying to ignore it. Plutt has said at times she was lucky she had food at all, really...

Meanwhile, Kylo had gotten up. Finn had fallen asleep too, while Kylo looked over Poe with a sort of tenderness and longing that gave Rey an unpleasant pang even thinking about it, seeing it. She couldn’t help but wish Kylo looked at her that way, actually. 

“You okay?” she said to Kylo. 

Kylo spoke. “He looks so peaceful,” he said in a low voice. “I don’t want to wake him.” A beat. “After I shattered his mind...”

It was hard to reconcile that her now-gentle, nurturing mentor had been the same man who’d hurt her and Poe. Rey swallowed. “Why did you do it?”

”I was...coerced,” Kylo said. “Snoke himself had me do it. He always was a sadist. Putting me through different tests to destroy people I...”

He trailed off. 

“You love him,” Rey said. 

“Beyond hope, beyond measure.” A beat. “When I was a boy, I loved him with all my heart. I thought there was nothing wrong with him. I still do.”

Rey swallowed. The way he looked at Poe...there was so much guilt in it, so much tenderness, that Rey’s heart ached for them both. 

"And...me?” she said. 

Kylo nodded. “You are more rare than you know. All three of you are. It’s remarkable that I found you when I did.”

Rey looked at him, the tenderness and vulnerability plain in his eyes. “I know,” she said. 

She sat next to him, looking over Poe, who was still sleeping wrapped in blankets. It was then that he stirred. “Ben...”

Kylo stiffened. Rey placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“Ben, I’m sorry I didn’t come for you. I wasn’t enough. I wanted to be...”

Rey swallowed. She felt a painful lump in her throat. 

“It’s okay, Ben, I’ve got you...dear stars, don’t leave me..Ben!”

Poe snapped awake, and looking around the shuttle, seemed to be reacclimating himself to his surroundings. Kylo hung back, almost like he was uncertain whether comforting Poe would make it worse. 

Poe finally looked up at Kylo. “Kylo. Thank the stars. I thought I was back...there...but losing you.”

Finn woke as well. “Poe,” he said softly. “Are you okay?”

”Yeah.” Poe said. “Had a bad dream. About...” He trailed off, almost like he couldn’t bear to say what was next. 

“You’re safe, Poe.” Kylo’s hands trembled as if it ached to touch him. “With us. All of us.”

Poe nodded. “I can’t go back to sleep,” he said. “Could you...distract me a bit?”

”How?” Rey said. 

“Talk to me. About your training. About yourselves. Anything.”

Rey nodded. “Well,” she said, “Kylo’s teaching me about sparring. Not that I didn’t already know how to fight, but apparently it takes a different style to fight a duel.”

”Course it does,” Poe said. “I can imagine.”

”I beat him,” Rey said, smiling. Kylo smiled back, and there was that mynocks flapping sensation in her stomach again. Damn him. 

“Way to go, Rey!” Poe said. 

Rey smiled. Just hearing it from Poe made her feel unexpectedly warm as well. 

“We’ve also been learning about the Old Republic. And apparently Kylo doesn’t care for romance.”

Kylo sighed. “It’s unrealistic.”

Rey playfully rolled her eyes. 

“It’s not that unrealistic,” Poe said. 

“A bad man saved by the love of a good woman? Quite unrealistic.”

“You were saved.”

”By my father.”

”But you’re not beyond redemption. The truth is...I can’t hate you, Ben, even after what you’ve done. I know who you were before, and now I know what happened to you. Luke didn’t give you a chance to rise above it all. Now you get the chance.”

The shuttle came out of hyperspace over Dantooine, and Rey exclaimed in amazement. She hadn’t thought there would be two planets full of green in the whole galaxy...

”Are you all right, Rey?” Kylo said. 

“I didn’t think there would be so much green in this galaxy.” Rey said. 

They drew in for a landing, and Rey couldn’t help but be amazed by the vivid blue skies, the soft white clouds. She didn’t think that there was that much beauty in the galaxy. Not after Jakku. 

They landed, and it was Finn who spoke. “We better find ways to disguise ourselves,” he said. “Rey and I are fugitives, you’re a deserter, and Poe’s a well-known figure in the Resistance. You never know who’ll be out there.”

Kylo nodded. “You make a solid point,” he said. “You’d best leave my grandfather’s lightsaber back at the shuttle, or hide it. Anything that identifies any of us, we’d best hide it.” He sighed. “I doubt I’m a very popular galactic figure, really.”

Rey felt strange undoing her trademark three buns, she had to admit. She could still remember her parents, before they’d left her on Jakku, adjusting her hair in one of those moments they had when her mother and father weren’t affected by what her younger self (still in her earliest memories) had termed the Bad Stuff, her mother laughing about how she wasn’t good with hair. Her memories of her parents were scattered, but she could remember bits and pieces of them. She’d worn her hair up in three buns ever since she was little, almost like it would get her parents to recognize her when — if — they came back. 

Now, dressed in green, her hair flowing down her back, Rey couldn’t help but notice that both Kylo and Poe were staring at her in amazement. It was a feeling that only made her heart beat faster, and it wasn’t unpleasant. 

“You look nice,” Kylo said. 

Even that made Rey’s stomach do another flip. That thought...that thought was truly wonderful. 

Poe changed into more casual clothes, Finn as well, and Kylo stowed away his lightsaber in favor of a vibroblade. Finn stowed away Anakin’s lightsaber in favor of his blaster. And while it pained Rey to leave her staff on the shuttle, it wasn’t as easy to hide as a lightsaber, really. Add in some hair dye, and they were at least somewhat differentiated from what they would most likely be recognized by. 

That was a start. 


	10. Crystal Clear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our heroes explore the Crystal Cave on Dantooine. What could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Dantooine’s winds were soft even as the crew headed outside, but Kylo could already feel the sorrow of the planet all but pressing against his head, reminding him of what he had done the last time he had come to Dantooine. The last time he had come to Dantooine, he’d been there to destroy it. Snoke had been the one who suggested it. “Show them why they fear the Dark Side. Remind them of Darth Malak and Darth Vader.” And Snoke had smiled. Smiled that maalras-like smile. 

Now the planet was all but singing with sorrow. It was something that made Kylo find himself biting his lip and looking down, feeling the weight of what he’d done crashing down. 

“Kylo.” 

Poe’s voice. Firm yet gentle. 

“I didn’t think that I would come back here,” Kylo said. “The last time I came here, it was to destroy.”

Rey looked at him. He supposed she wasn’t surprised. She knew what exactly he was capable of. She was disappointed, though. He knew that much. 

“You’re not that man anymore,” Poe said. “You’ve taken your first step to proving it when we blew up Snoke’s Supremacy. Now...we just have to take another step.”

Kylo nodded. “Small steps.”

”Small steps,” Rey said. 

Finn added, “It’s the best you can do.”

Kylo spoke again. “If I remember the layout of Dantooine, the crystal cave is far away. We’ll have to get past kinrath.”

”Excellent,” Poe said wryly. 

“We’re not splitting up,” Kylo said. “As long as we stay together, we’ll be fine.”

The kinrath were practically an infestation in that moment, and as they shot them, cut them down, bludgeoned them, it seemed that more kept coming. By the time that they got to the entrance of the kinrath cave, they were injured from where the kinrath had managed to slash them, but thankfully not poison them. 

“You look horrible,” Rey said to Kylo. 

Kylo gritted his teeth even as blood trickled down his leg. “I’m fine. I’ve seen much worse.”

He gritted his teeth, trying to draw on his anger. Anger was easy. Anger had kept him alive and fighting when other injuries should have killed him — and yet, there was Rey, Finn and Poe. Rey and Poe especially. The three of them looking at him in worry, and Poe stepping forward to steady Kylo. “I’ve got the bacta. Just sit down, let me see.”

While Rey and Finn stood on kinrath duty, Poe smoothed the bacta over the cuts. Kylo gritted his teeth. “That hurts, Poe.”

”Yeah, I know.” Poe kept his voice low, soothing. “Just hold still; hopefully it’ll hurt less.”

”If I could...do more...it wouldn’t hurt as much.”

Poe sighed. “You’ve got quite a few scars.”

”I’ve seen much worse, like I said.” 

If he showed Poe the rest...well, it would be a lot, that he was certain of. 

Despite the stinging pain, Kylo couldn’t help but take a strange sort of pleasure just in being touched. Touched without the anticipation of pain...what was that like? They were close in the long grass, and Kylo realized they were close enough to kiss. 

Instead, he said, “Thank you.”

”It’s the least I can do.” Poe took Kylo’s hand, and the former Knight of Ren got to his feet. He could have sworn Rey looked actually a bit jealous, but maybe he was seeing things. He wasn’t the sort others got jealous over. 

They headed into the kinrath cave. Ahead was quiet, and a mercenary ahead seemed to be walking past the kinrath unharmed. Kylo couldn’t help but think he was lucky. Incredibly so, actually. 

They harvested crystals where they could, fought past the occasional kinrath, until they reached the crystal chamber, and it was there that Kylo’s heart sank. More kinrath. Even as the kinrath leapt at them, it took effort to fight them off. Kylo and his team fought them, but even then, Kylo couldn’t hold them forever. 

The best thing he could do was keep getting up. 

And up...

And up...

It was after the kinrath were dead that the room began to all but spin around Kylo, and he fell to the ground. The last thing he heard before all went black was Finn, Rey and Poe shouting for him. 


	11. Pure Silver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo recovers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

”Kylo?”

Kylo’s eyes fluttered open, only to see Poe, Finn and Rey gathered around him. 

“I’m sorry,” he croaked out. “I wasn’t quick enough.”

”You were, sweetheart, it’s okay.” Somehow, Kylo thought, he liked Poe calling him “sweetheart”; it was comforting. “I’m just glad you’re all right.”

”We all are.” Rey’s hand stroked his brow. “Stars, you’re cold. You’re lucky you didn’t die when that kinrath poison got into your system.”

Something about her gentle touch was enough to get Kylo’s heart fluttering. Smooth, comforting. In between Poe calling him “sweetheart” and Rey touching him...

He couldn’t say the last time anyone had treated him so tenderly. 

Finn was the one who spoke next. “We definitely owe you,” he said. “Thank you...Kylo.”

”I didn’t really do anything praiseworthy.”

Finn smiled. “You fought with us. That’s something.”

”Small steps?” Kylo said. 

Rey smiled. “Small steps.” She frowned, more in concentration than anything else. “We got the antidote kit working, but you still need bacta. You were badly cut...”

”The crystal room’s all spinny...” Kylo muttered. Indeed, everything seemed to be tilting. 

“I know,” Rey said soothingly. “Just hold still. We’ll need quite a lot of time to heal you up...”

Kylo couldn’t say how long he really lay there, head in Poe’s lap with Finn passing Rey the antidote kits and bacta, Rey smearing them over the cuts. Kylo gritted his teeth occasionally, but there was something comforting about Rey’s touch. 

“We got the lightsaber parts,” Rey said. “And the crystals.” She grinned, and her whole face seemed to light up. Kylo felt a tug of affection towards her, not for the first time. “I found unique crystals everywhere. It’s amazing! They’re so beautiful...”

Kylo smiled weakly. “They are.” Then, “Let’s get back to the ship. We can rest there. How are you?”

”We were a bit scratched up,” Rey said. “But we’re better than we were. You got the worst of it, though.”

Kylo got to his feet, wincing. “I’ve never been a good fighter.”

Rey looked at him, clearly baffled. “Don’t say that. You’re a good teacher — ”

Kylo smiled weakly again. “Snoke never thought so. On the fighter front. Well, never is a stretch. When he was generous with praise, he was. He all but put me on a pedestal. ‘It’s where you come from,’ he told me. ‘The Dark Side and the Light.’ But when I made a mistake...it was like I couldn’t live up to that pedestal. I kept it hidden away, but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t there.”

Silence. Then Poe spoke. “That bastard.”

”How cruel,” Rey said. 

Kylo sighed. “My case isn’t exceptional. Dark Siders don’t think well of their pupils, and pupils always seek to kill their masters. Darth Malak once said the strongest must rule in order to survive. The Dark Side values strength, ruthlessness, cruelty...things I never entirely had.”

”Surely the Jedi have to be better?” Rey said. 

“I doubt it. At least if experiences with my uncle have taught me anything.” Kylo turned towards Rey. “I know I’ll never treat you as Snoke treated me.”

Rey nodded. “You’re a good teacher. And maybe you’re not the Dark Side ideal...but I’d say that’s a good thing.”

And something about how she said it was enough for Kylo to believe it. 

***

Healing up on the shuttle was actually comforting. They couldn’t spar, but Kylo could put together his new lightsaber with Rey, made up of the parts that she had found in the Crystal Cave. 

“Back in the days when the Order still stood, they had three colors,” Kylo said. “Blue for the Jedi Guardian, yellow for the Jedi Sentinel, green for the Jedi Consular. The Guardian defended through combat, the Sentinel sought out injustice, bringing it to light, and the Consular sought out the greater mysteries of the Force. Of course, you didn’t have to stick to those colors...”

”What color did you pick?” Rey said. 

“Blue. Back then, I was stupid enough to think I could be a Guardian, protecting people from evil with my lightsaber alone.”

”Idealism isn’t stupid.”

”For the boy I was...it was.”

”You’re too harsh on yourself,” Rey said. 

“Perhaps. I was thinking of using a different color.” It was looking over the silver crystal that Kylo could remember a little boy who worshipped Poe giving him a silver crystal. He swallowed, fighting back the memory — only to wonder if he could incorporate that into his new lightsaber. 

The silver crystal was smooth, almost pearly. Kylo could only hope that one day he would be like that crystal. Smooth and whole. 

“Silver will do,” he finally said. Even putting the lightsaber together, carefully avoiding crossguards (he wasn’t ready to associate anything with Kylo Ren, the man he’d been), he noticed Rey carefully looking over her parts for her double-bladed lightsaber, and the crystals laid out on the workbench. All the colors of the rainbow. 

Finally, she picked a bronze crystal. “It reminds me of Jakku,” she said. “I might as well own who I am. Who I was.”

Testing out the ignition of their lightsabers went smoothly. Even looking at the smooth silver blade, nothing like the unstable blade of his Dark Side lightsaber, Kylo could say that he was taking steps further away from the man he had been. 

Rey’s double-bladed lightsaber looked practically radiant. Even watching her, Kylo felt a sense of awe and pride. The fact they had both come this far...that was amazing. 

They deactivated their sabers, and Kylo put a hand on Rey’s shoulder. “I’m so proud of you,” he said. 

Rey’s smile, her glee at building her own lightsaber, could have lit up a whole room. 


	12. Break Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo confesses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Title of this chapter sort of inspired by “Everything I Touch” by Stabbing Westward.

It occurred to Kylo in that moment that he was possibly in love with both Rey and Poe, and it startled him.

He shouldn’t have been feeling the way he did, let alone for two people that he tortured. And Rey was his student. His peer in a way too, but still his student. The very idea was inappropriate, not to mention impossible. You simply couldn’t “have” two people. True, there were the occasional three and four-way relationships, but most of the time, being in love with more than one person led to heartache for everyone involved. Or so Kylo had heard, really.

Right now, Poe was up at the cockpit piloting, Finn was in the main hold with BB-8 and Rey, and Kylo was alone trying to process how things had come to this. He didn’t have much to do while recuperating from kinrath poison, except meditation (which felt a lot like being alone with his own thoughts), reading, and more. Reading up on some more things to show Rey. There were Holonet sound recordings from lectures from the Old Republic days, which Kylo supposed was an adequate substitute for holocrons. Even going over them, he wondered if any of them really covered being possibly in love with two people.

It was the sort of thing that made him feel more like a teenage boy than a man of twenty-nine, but there it was.

It was Rey who entered medbay with him. “How are you feeling?” she said.

”Never better,” Kylo said wryly.

”Kylo, really,” Rey said. “Any signs of dizziness, anything like that?”

Kylo shook his head. “I’m all right. I’m healing.”

”That’s good. The truth is, I was worried about you. Poe too. And Finn.”

”I can’t say I’m used to having people caring about me.”

Rey nodded. It was clear that she’d been there before. Kylo couldn’t help but feel a sad tug at his chest. Rey had deserved much better than she had gotten. Which probably didn’t include him.

”The truth is, Rey...” He paused; how did he put it? “I’m glad you’re with me. You, Poe, Finn...I am glad.”

Rey looked disappointed, like she expected him to say more. Then, “So am I.” 

There was silence. Then, “Kylo, if it’s not too intrusive,” Rey said, “If you love Poe, why haven’t you told him?”

”Why does it matter?”

”I want you to be happy. And Poe too.”

”It’s complicated.”

”Because of...what happened?”

Kylo nodded. “And I care about both of you. I don’t want...either of you to get hurt.”

Rey’s eyes widened. “Kylo...”

”I thought you should know.”

”Are we just toys to you?”

”Not to me.”

Rey blinked. Then, “I need a moment to think.”

She left, and Kylo wished he hadn’t said anything at all.

***

Rey couldn’t say that she knew what to feel, what to think. Even heading back up to the main hold, she noticed Finn look at her in worry. “Did he hurt you?”

”No. He just said something where...if anything, I need time to think.”

Finn nodded. Rey sat next to him, even though her thoughts were already disturbed. Two was plausible, expected, but three? You simply couldn’t do three. It wasn’t possible. Rey, growling in frustration, ran a hand through her hair. Finn looked at her in worry, but said nothing.

***

Kylo could have kicked himself in that moment even as he sat alone in medbay. Of all the ways that he thought he could confess his affection for the both of them, it definitely wasn’t this. Now he was possibly at risk of losing both of them. At least if Poe found out. Stupid stupid. That was the best way to sum it all up. 

Kylo took his lightsaber. Already, he could feel the residual tension building up in his body, the prelude to one of his notorious tantrums. They hadn’t gotten prominent until he was in his late teens, but they had been there nonetheless. He looked over his lightsaber, wondering if he really wanted to do this. 

He ignited it anyway...and that was when the others headed into medbay, Rey with her lightsaber ignited, Poe and Finn with their blasters drawn. 

Kylo could have laughed. The idea that his temper tantrums were now worthy of everyone rushing down to medbay to intervene was almost bleakly funny. 

“What are you doing?” Rey said. 

Finn was the next one to speak. “I heard...stories,” he said. “About him destroying things when he’s angry. Whatever happened back there, I think he’s angry.”

Poe nodded. He lowered the blaster, stepped forward. “It’s okay, Kylo,” he said, “Put down the lightsaber.”

Poe didn’t understand how angry he was — at himself, not Rey. Not Poe, not Finn, not BB-8, who was already beeping in concern.

Rey spoke. “You spring a revelation like that on me, and you’re the one who’s angry?”

”It’s not about you,” Kylo snapped. 

“Then enlighten me.”

Finn nodded. “I’m going to make sure the shuttle’s still running,” he said. Obviously, he didn’t want to intrude. 

He left, and Kylo took a deep breath. “It’s me.” He deactivated his lightsaber, tucked it on his belt. He was still angry, but he didn’t want to hurt either one of them. “I was foolish.” 

“What exactly happened?” Poe said. 

“It’s both of you. I think I...” Kylo took a deep breath. 

“What, Kylo?” Poe said. 

“I think I love both of you.”

And even as Kylo said it, he had a feeling that he’d lost both of them. 


	13. Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The poly begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Poe seemed to freeze in that moment, and Kylo already knew that he had said the wrong thing. Most likely the wrong thing, at least. No, it was the wrong thing. 

“So, that’s the thing?” Poe said. “You want both of us?”

Kylo nodded. There was no use hiding it. “Because I’m selfish and I don’t want to lose either one of you.”

_Because you’re both beautiful beings, and I don’t want to lose your light._

Poe swallowed. “What are you thinking anyway? Just stringing us both along because you can’t decide?”

”I want to keep you both.”

Kylo looked around to make sure Finn wasn’t overhearing any of this. He wasn’t. Good. He seemed to focus on working on the shuttle. Thank the Force. 

“I’m still not sure,” Poe said. “Like...being your playthings? Or a threeway relationship?”

”I don’t know if it’s possible. The threeway, that is.”

”It’s not impossible,” Poe said. “I knew one at the Academy. Back when I was in the New Republic Navy.”

At this rate, Kylo was willing to do anything not to lose them. 

Rey spoke. “It’s possible,” she said. “I admit I don’t know much about it, but...”

”You’re not just my playthings. Not to me,” Kylo said. “And that’s a promise.”

”We can take it slow, then,” Rey said. “See where the pieces fit.”

Kylo nodded. In the end, it was the best they could do. 

It was when Finn came back that he said, “How did the, well, discussion go?”

”We’ve worked it out,” Kylo said. 

“Good,” Finn said. “That’s...good.”

That was one way to put it, at least. The fact that he wasn’t going to lose them — well, it was like a weight being taken off his shoulders he didn’t know he was carrying. 

He wasn’t going to get a perfect trio overnight. But he’d taken a step towards it, at least. 

***

It was later, in a separate room, that they actually got to talk. Thank the Force. They could at least work out what needed to be worked out, and from there...

From there he could keep them. Yes. He could keep them. They would be freely his, and even that was too wonderful to be anything but a really good dream. It truly was. 

Rey was the first one to speak. “I admit that Poe and I don’t know each other too well,” she said. “I...did enjoy his company, but that got broken a bit.”

”I know,” Poe said. “And I’m sorry.”

Rey smiled faintly. “You thought he didn’t love you back. It’s understandable.”

”Still, it wasn’t your fault,” Poe finally said. 

Even watching the two of them, talking to each other, warning up to each other, it was enough to give Kylo a strange sense of peace. When he managed to speak, he said, “You want to take it slow, Rey?”

”Well,” Rey said, “I want to at least understand Poe more. And you. Kylo...you’re a better man than you give yourself credit for, and I want to know more about you.”

”You are,” Poe said. 

Kylo nodded. Already, he didn’t know what he had done to deserve these two beautiful beings, but he didn’t want to lose either of them. 

***

There were bunk beds, and definitely one bunk big enough to fit all three of them. There was something about the lower bed they were in that was enough to make Kylo feel safe, safe in a way that he had very rarely felt. Poe was on one side, Rey on the other, and he was  in the middle. Safe in the middle. 

He had one arm around each of them, drawing them in close in ways protective and possessive all in one. They were his. They would always be. 

He drifted off to sleep from there, his dreams peaceful just for a change, something he’d never expected. 


	14. Not Broken But Whole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff ending in hurt/comfort and angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Trigger warning for Snoke’s abuse (physical and emotional).

There was no morning light in space, but Kylo could imagine it streaming through the windows of the ship even as he stirred, looking at his two lovers who were all but snug in the sheets. Poe tugged at him, almost like he was urging Kylo to lie back down. Kylo groaned softly; he loved Poe, but damn him. 

Damn them both. They both looked so beautiful. Poe with his raven-dark curls falling freely around his face, Rey with her brown hair a mess. Kylo’s heart ached looking at them, but in a good way. He almost didn’t want to get up either; he wanted to stay a little while longer. But they were coming up on Crait, and like it or not, he had to get up. He smoothed hair out of Poe’s eyes. He didn’t want to wake him, but he had to, just to get up...

Poe stirred. “Kylo?” he said. 

“Right next to you."

”Mmmmm...” Poe hummed softly. “Sweetheart, it can’t be that early, can it?”

It was funny, how he could be a former Dark Sider and that name could make his heart flutter. Still, he smiled. “Endearments aren’t going to make you win this one, Poe.”

”Maybe not,” Poe said, smiling back. “No harm in staying in bed a little while longer, is there?”

”We have to get to Crait.”

”It’ll take a while longer,” Poe assured him. 

“You really, really want an excuse to cuddle, don’t you?”

”Mmmmm...” Poe snuggled up to him. “You’re warm.”

”Well, we are under warm blankets...”

”There’s that.” Poe purred softly. 

Rey was the next to stir. Kylo could feel her presence in the Force, endless potential and power wrapped up in an already amazing woman. They were both amazing. Luminous beings, both of them. 

“I’m not used to this,” Rey said, almost groggily. “I’m scared I’ll wake up on Jakku and all this — meeting Finn, meeting both of you, will have just been a dream.”

”Even if it was a dream, Rey, who said it wouldn’t happen for real?” Kylo said. “Besides...touch my hand. You wouldn’t feel that sensation in a dream, would you?”

Rey did, cautiously, like Kylo was made of transparisteel. She nodded slowly. 

“I’m not used to deserving better,” she said. 

“You do.” Damn Rey for making him feel like his gut had been punched so early. He’d do whatever he could to heal her and Poe’s wounds, wounds he’d inflicted and wounds others had. 

Poe looked over at her. “Rey,” he said. “Whatever happens, we’re going to make damn sure that you never feel like that again.”

Rey smiled over at them both. “I know.”

***

It was at breakfast that Kylo noticed that Finn was looking at them, really looking at them, like he was worried about what was going on. It made for an awkward breakfast, Finn’s brown eyes looking from Rey to Poe to Kylo like he was trying to put the puzzle together. 

Rey spoke up. “Finn,” she said, “If we’ve got a problem, let’s settle it right now.”

Finn took a deep breath. “The three of you are...together?”

Kylo nodded. 

Finn sighed. “I’m just worried is all,” he said. “You’ve done your part to prove yourself, Kylo, but if you hurt Poe and Rey again...”

”I won’t.” Even remembering hurting Poe had been one of the worst things he’d done, and hurting Rey...once he realized that she was a bright, vibrant human and not just an obstacle to the map to his uncle, which hadn’t even mattered in the end... “I couldn’t hurt them a second time.”

Finn nodded. “For what it’s worth, you are better than the man you were before,” he said. 

“A low bar,” Kylo said flatly. 

Finn tilted his head. “I still can’t get over the fact you’ve got a sense of humor now.”

”It’s a coping mechanism." A beat. “But I’m not hurting Poe or Rey. What I did...I am ashamed of it, and I can only hope that there is redemption after that.”

Poe squeezed his shoulder. Rey spoke up. “I won’t deny I hated you when we first met,” she said. “But you’ve been taking steps to redeem yourself. You really have.”

”Hear hear,” Poe said. 

“I just wish I’d joined the Resistance earlier,” Kylo said. “If I knew that I’d belong here...”

Finn smiled. “Yeah,” he said. “You got it.”

***

To say that General Organa was angry was putting it mildly. After chewing them out with a ferocity that seemed to have endured even years after the Galactic Civil War, she sent Kylo to medbay to be patched up. 

Kalonia met with Kylo to look over his wounds from the kinrath. “Where did they sting you?” she said. 

Kylo sighed. “Everywhere. But it’s not relevant. Not really."

Kalonia frowned. Then, “Kylo, I’m going to have to inspect you a little more. Make sure your wounds aren’t infected.”

Kylo couldn’t help but feel his blood freeze. Then, “It’s nothing, really.”

”I just have to be sure."

Kylo, reluctantly, nodded and disrobed. Standing in Kalonia’s office in his underwear, he felt large, bulky, and worst of all, exposed. Kalonia told him to lie down, and it was obeying that Kylo heard her suck in a breath. 

“Kylo,” she said, “These look like...whip marks.”

”Sparring practice,” Kylo said. 

“And these...did someone hurt you?"

Kylo froze. He could still remember things like Force Lightning, bruises...when Snoke could hurt him in body, he did. Kylo couldn’t even count how he had been Force Choked, shocked, tossed about...

"It’s nothing,” Kylo said. Just some of Snoke’s rages. It was nothing. Nothing he hadn’t earned, at least. 

“Kylo,” Kalonia said, “You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to.”

”I deserved it."

”No. No one deserves this. Nobody. I’m sorry.”

Kylo was relieved when he got to dress. Finally, he couldn’t help but think. And Kalonia’s words — Kalonia’s words were comforting enough. Now he had to tell Poe and Rey. They had the right to know. 

***

“He what?”

Kylo hadn’t expected someone to be outraged about Snoke’s treatment on his behalf. But here he was. “He hurt me,” he said. He kept his voice even. It was easier than crying. “Again and again. Most of it was on the physical and emotional side. It was usually when he was in a bad mood, or I’d made him angry — ”

Rey looked at him sadly. “He made himself angry. Or found excuses to get angry. It wasn’t your fault Snoke got angry.”

”You don’t understand.” Kylo’s voice shook. “I deserved every terrible, disgusting word he called me...” He blinked. Poe and Rey were becoming blurry now. 

“No..."

”Yes.”

”No.” Poe spoke gently but firmly. “You didn’t. There is no conceivable galaxy where you deserved that treatment.”

He embraced Kylo, and Kylo shook like a leaf. Soon, Rey had joined in, and Kylo felt truly encompassed by their adoration, by their warmth. 

“You’re safe, Kylo,” Rey said softly. “He’ll never hurt you again."

Kylo smiled. “I know.”


	15. First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the story undergoes a rating change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

There was sunlight on Crait. Kylo knew that much. Dull, flat sunlight, but it could make do with his fantasy of just lying in bed with both his lovers, probably part of some sort of domestic situation as opposed to all this violence. He almost didn’t want to move for a moment; the bed was so cozy and Rey and Poe were so warm and clingy. But they had to get up somehow. Poe was mercifully the first to stir.

”Morning, darling,” Poe said casually, and Kylo felt his stomach doing flip-flops once again. It was still amazing that Poe was calling him such wonderful things after all that he put Poe through, and everyone else for that matter. 

“Morning.” Kylo smiled as he spoke. He had a feeling that he’d never get tired of seeing either Poe or Rey’s faces, actually. 

Rey stirred and lightly kissed his cheek, and Kylo could swear that he still felt the imprint of her lips, soft and smooth, right there. “We better get to the mess hall,” she said. “Your mother’s probably wondering where we’ve been.”

They headed down to the mess hall, and Kylo tried to engage in conversation with Poe’s friends. Emphasis on “tried”. He wasn’t used to such camaraderie, but he found himself grinning at times and even got a few chuckles with some of his comments, so he supposed he was doing something right. Anything at all. The news was generally pretty low-key, some rumblings where they had last left Snoke, though...

”Don’t worry about Snoke,” Poe said. “If he were still around, he still doesn’t know where to find us.”

”Doesn’t mean he isn’t regrouping,” Kylo said.

”We’ll fight him,” Rey said. “He isn’t going to get away with threatening us. Any of us. And that goes out to our friends too.”

Kylo nodded. 

They finished breakfast, and headed on to training. Even as he sparred with Rey (keeping their lightsabers on their training mode, one of the features they’d added to the sabers), Kylo found himself having to carefully avoid Rey’s spinning blades. She looked so beautiful, Kylo thought dazedly, like one of the Jedi of old, gracefully dancing around him, agile and strong. They both fought, neither one of them slouches in the lightsaber department, but it was really Rey who won. And Kylo looked up at her, dazed by her grace and beauty, wondering how it was he ever found her.

She helped him up. Kylo stood, brushing himself off, trying to shake off the almost worshipful daze that he had just being in combat with her. And Poe, meanwhile — his eyes were wide, amazed, almost like he himself had been lost in the little dance that they were doing, saber to saber, combatant to combatant.

”Enjoying yourself, are you?” Rey said good-naturedly.

”You could say that,” Poe said, grinning. “You two are the most skilled Force users I’ve ever met.”

”I’ve practiced,” Rey said.

Kylo nodded. “I pretend I know what I’m doing,” he said wryly.

”Stop that,” Poe said. “You’re very good.”

The two of them were sweaty enough, and using the Resistance showers on base seemed like a good idea as any. They ignored some of the whispers from some of the people who hadn’t yet accepted Kylo’s defection and relationship with Poe and Rey. Or tried to. It still rankled Kylo at least a little; what kind of person did they think he was?

”They’re idiots,” Rey said bluntly. “In case they haven’t noticed, I’m not brainwashed or being abused.”

”Neither am I,” Poe said.

Kylo nodded. They approached the shower, and Rey’s face broke into an amazed grin. “It’s so...I never had anything like that back on Jakku!”

Kylo looked over at her. “Nothing like that?”

”We had a bath, but it was nothing extravagant. Plutt controlled the water supply as well.” 

The more he heard about Rey’s upbringing, the more Kylo wondered who would leave her there like this. Most likely not good people. “Well, consider this your first time doing this,” Kylo said.

They stepped into the fresher, and Kylo couldn’t help but feel nervous effectively disrobing for Poe and Rey. What would they think of him? These two gorgeous, flawless beings, seeing him naked for the first time. They’d probably find some reasons, any at all to —

But they couldn’t shower with clothes on, so Kylo disrobed, and was pleasantly surprised to see them both looking at him with such reverence and such amazement. And they were beautiful too — Rey tall and lithe and strong, Poe short and deceptively delicate-looking. They were a contrast, two of the most beautiful people in the galaxy, and Kylo was drawn to the small details, like the soft curviness (for lack of a better word) of Poe’s hips, the petite yet supple breasts Rey had. He could swear that the earlier daze was settling into want — he wanted both of them, wanted to worship them with all he had.

”Can we...fit in here?” Kylo said. He also took a towel, about to cover up his rising shaft, only for Poe to take his hand.

”If we can’t, we can take turns,” Poe said. “And relax, Kylo. You don’t have to cover up anything. Not with us.”

Kylo did relax, and he nodded. 

Rey went first, and even seeing her face — stars, she was beautiful. Just the utter joy and glee on her face at seeing the water come out of the shower head. She was already beautiful, but the sheer amazingness of this woman smiling...

Kylo swallowed. Rey looked at him, her smile fading. “You okay?” 

“I am. You’re just...beautiful. Both you and Poe.”

Rey’s smile returned, if faintly. “So are you.”

”Rey...”

”You don’t have any idea, do you? We chose you, Kylo. Don’t doubt that.”

Kylo smiled. He still didn’t know what he had done to deserve both of them.

They stepped into the shower — which unfortunately could only hold two people — and turned on the water. Rey tilted her head back and let the shower water hit her face, her neck and breasts. Even rubbing shampoo into her scalp, Kylo could only wish that he could kiss the shower water from her breasts like that. She was practically a goddess under the running water, and moving lower, towards her skin long after he had washed her hair, Kylo massaged the tense muscles in her shoulders, her back, her neck. Rey whimpered softly, and Kylo stopped his ministrations, worrying that he’d hurt her somehow.

”It feels fine. Wonderful,” Rey said. “Don’t stop.”

Kylo continued, until Rey was completely relaxed. Finally, he said, “Rey...is it possible to become more intimate?”

Rey looked at him. “Let me wash you first.”

Her touching him was a tease. From her clever scavenger hands massaging his scalp to actually rubbing out his strong shoulders and rubbing circles of soap on him...it was like he was made for being touched by both her and Poe. His shaft was rising towards his belly, and when she did touch it, stroking it with her hand, he groaned in relief. She stroked, caressed, looking up at him like she was determined to get it right. Virgin, he reminded himself. So he encouraged her, letting her know which strokes felt good, and all of them felt good. Amazing, actually. He felt a warmth building in his belly, and he came in spurts in Rey’s hand, groaning in bliss. He slumped back, gripping the shower railings for purchase, but Rey’s needs were still very much unattended.

”Rey,” he began. “I think it’s time I returned the favor.”

She looked at him, her eyes heavy-lidded. “You want to use your hands?”

”Yes.” He kissed her forehead. “I don’t want to hurt you, though.”

She smiled. “You won’t.”

He kissed her breasts softly, licking the droplets of water from them, looking up at her for approval. He could taste the smooth wetness of her skin, hear her gasps and moans, and who knew that the breasts could be so sensitive? She tilted her head back, baring her neck like a sacrifice, and Kylo moved on to her flat, muscled belly, kissing and tracing the abdominal muscles with his tongue, before moving downwards, downwards...

“You taste and feel so good, Rey,” Kylo said. “I can’t imagine what it will be like filling you with my fingers. All wet and willing for me.” He couldn’t believe he was talking like that, but it seemed that the don’t-say-that part of his brain had been turned off. “And maybe Poe can watch us? Imagine him, watching as I finger you...”

Rey groaned. “Stop talking and do it,” she ordered. “And bring Poe in.”

Kylo could not deny her. “Why don’t you step in, Poe?”

Poe did. Kylo already felt terrible even looking at him; if only there was a shower that could actually fit three people. Still, Poe didn’t seem to be holding any grudges as he said, “Did I miss anything?”

”We’re getting to the main event,” Kylo said. “Just...stand back and enjoy yourself.”

Rey turned to Poe. “Touch yourself,” she said. “Let us watch.”

Poe did, and the gasps and moans he made were intoxicating as he tilted his head back, allowing a great view of his long, elegant neck, his closed eyes. Rey met Kylo’s eyes, and said, “Touch me.”

Kylo spread her legs. It was quite the amazing view down there, even as he rubbed her clit. He had never pleasured anyone before, but even rubbing Rey’s clit, round and round, back and forth, he could rely on her reactions to see what did and didn’t work. Her breathing was heavy, and she was gasping, moaning as Kylo rubbed — even looking into her face, she looked so beautiful when she was in the throes of pleasure. The combined moans and gasps of his lovers were almost too much, and though Kylo was drained from Rey’s handiwork earlier, his shaft was already hardening again. “Never had another touch you like this, have you, Rey?” Kylo said. “Never had another see your face as you got touched like this? You look so gorgeous like this. You want more? You want my fingers inside you, finding the right places?”

“Yes.” As Kylo rubbed her clit, Rey practically moaned the next “yes” — who knew the young former scavenger could be so vocal?

Kylo inserted the tip of his finger cautiously — Rey felt so small and tight. “Someone hasn’t been treating you right,” Kylo murmured. “Like the princess you are.”

Rey moaned. “Please...”

Slowly, Kylo slid his finger in, back and forth, back and forth. 

“So beautiful,” Poe said. “You’re such a gorgeous woman, Rey. And we get to see you like this. Me, standing out here while he fills you...”

”Yes, Poe, you do...” Rey moaned. “Kylo...I need another finger.”

”You’ll — ”

”I’m not delicate!” Rey snapped.

Kylo nodded, cautiously inserted another finger. Once he got over how tight Rey was, it felt good. Warm, wet, encasing his fingers — and the fact that Rey was moaning, murmuring praise for Kylo as he fingered her, calling him such a good lover, only contributed to Kylo’s enjoyment.

”What do you need, princess?” he murmured. “Another finger? My other hand on your sweet little clit?” 

She shuddered, moaning. “Touch me.”

Poe’s gasps in the background were the soundtrack to their lovemaking, Kylo penetrating her with his fingers while rubbing her clit. Rey was moaning, gasping both their names, gripping the railing of the shower for purchase. 

“So beautiful,” Kylo murmured. “You take my breath away looking at you, Rey. Both you and Poe. No other being is comparable.”

”Yes, Kylo — oh Ri’ia, you feel so good...”

Rey trembled. Her legs shook, and when Kylo stroked her clit some more, while sliding his fingers in and out of her, filling her up, her whole body trembled and convulsed, and she practically cried out in bliss. She shook, grabbing onto the shower railing with all she had, moaning, crying out Kylo and Poe’s names...

...and then she was drained, breathing heavily, coming down from her orgasm. Poe followed, moaning both his lovers’ names. 

“Ri’ia,” she murmured softly. “That felt amazing.”

”Happy to oblige,” Kylo said. He checked his fingers for any signs of blood. There were none. Now he had to attend to both his lovers. “How do you feel, Rey?”

”Good. Great, actually. Have to admit I wouldn’t mind doing this again.” Rey grinned, then faltered. “What time is it?”

Poe checked. “We’ve got plenty of time before dinner. Maybe Kylo and I could...”

”Oh yes,” Rey said. “If I can watch.”

Poe stepped into the shower. Kylo practically pulled him into a kiss, feeling the heat in his belly become practically a wildfire. 


	16. Like Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo strokes Poe off while Rey watches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Their kiss caused a sort of burning in Kylo that he doubted could be quenched except by more kisses, more all but scrambling for flesh. It wasn’t balanced, focused, like it was with Rey; Kylo had no idea what he wanted to do with Poe first. Doing for him, as opposed to doing to him. 

He wished that he had any sort of idea. 

Rey was watching them, and judging by the look of amazement in her eyes, it was clear that they were putting on quite a show for her.  Kylo broke away from Poe briefly just to nod. Touch yourself, Rey, the nod said. Enjoy yourself. 

He returned to Poe, who was already wide-eyes, wanting, looking at Kylo like he was water in the desert. “I don’t know where to start,” he finally said. 

“I could...take you. No, we’re going to need a bed for that. And all three of us.” Kylo paused; how would a threesome fit together sexually? That was the question. “And...I want to see your face, Poe. I want to see your beautiful face when you respond to every touch I give you, when you come for me." A beat. “I want to touch you.”

”Please.”

Kylo worked diligently with his hand, taking pleasure in how Poe arched against the shower wall, stroking the head, around the head, occasionally experimenting with his male lover and pinching his nipples, much to Poe’s delight. Poe looked so beautiful when he was in the grip of sexual ecstasy. Not that he wasn’t already gorgeous. Kylo couldn’t help but lean forward and kiss and lick and suck on that long neck. 

“You owe me — ah — a damn scarf after this,” Poe said. 

“Oh, beautiful,” Kylo said. “You’re mine, you and Rey. And you have no idea how much I want to mark up that pretty neck of yours...”

”Just stop talking and keep touching me.” 

Kylo did. He did, reveling in Poe’s moans and pleas. Rey’s gasps and moans were the additional element of it, until Poe climaxed into Kylo’s hand, and then Rey came after. 

Kylo ached. Ached until Poe looked at him — and he swore that Poe had that look in his eyes that suggested some mischief. “You know,” he said, “I haven’t really gotten you off either, sweetheart.”

Kylo groaned. At this rate, Poe would kill him. Poe’s technique was different from Rey’s, teasing at the testicles, the head, and more. He played Kylo like a flawless instrument. And when Kylo came, it was like a second explosion of bliss. 

They dressed, exhausted from their orgasms, and Kylo turned to look at them. “How do you feel?” he said. 

“Good. Great, actually,” Poe said. “I wanted you for so long, Kylo, and so much.”

”I did too.”

Rey smiled. “It felt good,” she said. “I didn’t think my body could hold that much pleasure. And watching you two...”

She trailed off, like she was trying to describe the sheer unbridled lust and adoration she’d seen. 

“It was perfect,” she said. 

They’d missed dinner, but the snack bar was open, and they grabbed some interesting treats that the Resistance had managed to pick up on other planets. They caught up on discussion of holoshows, things of that nature, before heading off to bed, utterly exhausted. 

And it was falling asleep that Kylo, not for the first time, felt at utter peace with them. 

 


	17. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rey, Kylo and Poe have sex as a threesome, and Snoke is on the brink of returning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Warning for slut shaming language and sexism on Snoke’s part. He’s quite the Politically Incorrect Villain, really.

Snoke’s ship  _Annihilator_ was nearly finished. Even as Snoke looked over the building ship, the work-in-progress, he had to admit that maybe these puny workers were useful for at least something. They were pathetic, but they had their uses.

The ship was very nearly finished. And when they were fully rebuilt (may the traitor Kylo Ren suffer for what he did), they would make the galaxy fear them once more. They were not to be trifled with. Not remotely. If anyone thought otherwise, they were wrong.

Snoke did not suffer betrayals gladly. Kylo Ren was always a weak thing, but he had had potential, and he surrendered it to his own weakness. And now he was allowing a pilot and a girl who had never held a lightsaber — a mere girl, at that — to use him like the whore he was. Truly a disappointment.

No matter. When he caught up to Ren, he would make him pay for humiliating him along with the others in battle. That, naturally, was the utmost truth.

***

It was nightfall, and Kylo now had a chance to take Poe properly on the bed that they shared. Rey joined them this time, as Kylo doubted that he wanted her to feel left out. They undressed before going over to the bed, Poe lying down.

There was lubricant on the nightstand that Kylo summoned to him with the Force before slicking his shaft with it, slowly, teasingly. Poe groaned in anticipation, before Kylo spoke. “You want this?”

”Please.” Poe looked up at him, his beautiful dark eyes wide with need. “Please, sweetheart.”

Kylo doubted he could resist. He and Rey might be in charge, but in his heart, Kylo was a slave to both his lovers. “Ready, Rey?”

Rey, also undressed, nodded. “Do you think we’ll fit?”

”You can climb on top of him and pleasure him while I’m inside him.”

Poe nodded. “Please.”

Kylo stood and entered Poe, Poe’s legs clinging to his thighs and squeezing them, drawing him further in. He hissed in pleasure; it felt amazing just being inside his male lover. Rey was atop Poe, giving Kylo a view of her lean, powerful back as she attended to Poe’s nipples,  pinching and sucking at them while Kylo stroked Poe’s shaft in time with his thrusts. Poe was practically a wreck, taking in sobbing breaths as Kylo and Rey pleasured him. 

“You feel so good, Poe,” Kylo growled. “So warm and tight. So well-formed.” He groaned, almost incoherently. 

“You’re beautiful,” Poe murmured. “Both of you.” He shuddered, shook. “Stars...Rey, Kylo...” He came, spurting into Kylo’s hand.

Kylo followed not long after, groaning low in his throat. He got up, turned towards Rey. “There’s something I want to do for you, Rey. I want...” He wet his lips; how did he describe what he wanted to do without sounding crude or vulgar? “To taste you.”

Rey shivered. Then, “Please.”

She lay down, Kylo atop her. For a moment, Kylo feared that he would crush her, but Rey said, “Just relax. You won’t hurt me.” To Poe, “Up for watching?”

“Definitely,” Poe said.

Kylo looked down at Rey. “Ready?”

”Please.” 

He moved downwards first, kissing and licking at her breasts even as Poe’s breathing grew heavy, tracing her abdominal muscles with his tongue like he had in the shower. Rey’s hips were bucking and she was panting. He sucked on her inner thighs, teased, nibbled, before finally, Rey said, “Kylo...please...just do it.”

She spread her legs further, and the view of her was perfect. Kylo delved between her folds, tasting her — it was Rey that he was tasting, and Rey that he was hearing even as she gasped and shuddered and moaned, her moans joining Poe’s heavy breathing as Kylo explored her. He couldn’t ask her what felt good, but he could look up at her for approval as she petted his hair. “You’re so good,” she said. “You’re doing so well, Kylo.”

Kylo basked in the praise, licking, delving, Rey’s thighs shaking and squeezing around him, though she was visibly trying to keep her body still. She couldn’t do it forever, though, and it was glorious when she came, trembling, convulsing, her body lost in the climax. And Kylo could taste her, all too well.

Rey released him, and Kylo wiped his mouth. Rey sat up. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Kylo shook his head. “I’m okay.”

They dressed for bed, lying there comfortably. Kylo checked in with his two lovers, who seemed more than content at the moment. They snuggled together, before drifting off into a deep sleep.


	18. Nightmare World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo has a nightmare, and Snoke prepares to destroy Dantooine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Added in a KOTOR reference in Snoke’s speech about destroying Dantooine. I figured it was appropriate.

_Falling asleep should have been easy. It was only when Kylo was settling into a relatively pleasant dream about the island that Rey had dreamed of before that he saw a familiar ship blotting out the island’s sun. Snoke’s ship. The sides of the ship like giant wings of a bird of prey, and the ship fired —_

Kylo shot up out of bed, and it was then that he swore he heard Snoke laughing in his head. That familiar laugh that Kylo hated so much. The sort of chortle that suggested that he found pleasure in the pain of others. Rey and Poe were awake, and it was Poe who spoke. “Kylo, are you all right?”

Kylo nodded. “I had a nightmare.”

”I did too,” Rey said. “Snoke...did you see him?”

”I saw his ship. In the nightmare.”

Poe kissed his left cheek softly. “Go back to sleep, Kylo. It was just a bad dream."

”My bad dreams...usually turn out to be real.” 

Rey kissed his other cheek. “We won’t let Snoke get to any of us.”

”We won’t,” Poe said. 

They settled into bed together. And for a moment, Kylo could believe them.

***

The Dark Side had granted him visions while he had been recovering from his crash in the escape pod. Snoke knew that much. He had seen flashes of what looked like some sort of cave, open grasslands...

He had seen this before, of course, in old records. Dantooine. Though why his apprentice would go searching for a mere relic of the past was beyond him. What was special about Dantooine, except for the old Academy and the Rebel Base that had long fallen into disuse? Nothing truly special, he could only assume. 

“Well,” Hux said, even as Snoke looked up from his reading of his records. “What have you found?”

”They went to Dantooine,” Snoke said. 

Hux snorted. “Dantooine? Did your Force tell you such?”

”You underestimate the power of the Dark Side,” Snoke said. “It is far from merely sorcerer’s ways. It may provide the key to finding out where they went.” 

“Dantooine is too remote for them to go.”

”Even the most remote planets have their uses.”

”Even if they did, it’s far too remote to make an impact. Hardly anyone cares about Dantooine.”

Snoke smiled, almost firaxan shark like. “Perhaps. But it will in time send a message to the Resistance. No matter where they go, we will find them.”

***

It was Snoke who gave his speech to his soldiers. “The Resistance, for a decade, has been nothing but a thorn in our side,” he said. “They call themselves heroes, and yet they feed off hate and anger. They are nothing but savage beasts, plain and simple. They are traitors, vermin and terrorists who threaten to destroy our life’s work...but they can’t hide forever. They can flee however far they like, but we will always be there to find them.” A beat. “Tonight, we head to Dantooine. Our traitorous Knight Kylo Ren went there. The people of Dantooine are not innocent. They are traitors, they are monsters — they are complicit in this terrorism, and they. Must. _Pay_. For what they’ve done!” A beat. “Let us go. Let us remind them of why they feared the Dark Side, why they feared Darth Malak and Darth Vader and the First Order all these years. Let us remind them what happens when they dare to harbor our enemies, and wipe this pathetic planet from the face of the galaxy!”

The Knights of Ren and the stormtroopers saluted. As did the officers. On the inside, Snoke smiled. To get the people of Dantooine fearing the Dark Side again...that he could not resist. 

Even settling back on his throne, Snoke smiled. Kylo Ren was a fool. But he would learn. And if he could bring Dantooine to its knees to send a message to the Resistance...it was only even better. 


	19. Promises To Keep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snoke destroys Dantooine, and Kylo has to make a choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It was the moment that Kylo, Rey and Poe came downstairs the next morning that they heard the chatter. “...can’t believe that Snoke destroyed Dantooine,” one of the Resistance soldiers said. 

Another Resistance soldier spoke up. “Didn’t Kylo Ren, Rey, Finn and Commander Dameron go there? They good as destroyed it, didn’t they?”

Kylo’s blood froze, and his chest felt like it had been squeezed in a vise. To think that he could have sensed Dantooine being destroyed. The fact that he didn’t...

Even that was a bad sign. Snoke was possibly getting stronger. That was why the Dark Side was only growing. That was why —

Kylo swallowed. Already, he could not help but be afraid, if only for the other planets that Snoke would destroy. 

The General sat in her chair, her head bowed. It was clear, more than clear really, that she had taken the destruction of Dantooine particularly hard. 

Kylo couldn’t blame her. 

Kaydel Ko Connix spoke just then. “General, there’s some transmission from the First Order coming through...but there’s no way they could have found us unless someone tipped them off. Or if it was something like Hux’s speeches they leaked on the Holonet...”

General Organa spoke. “Put it through, Lieutenant.”

Connix did, and Snoke’s hologram filled the screen. Kylo stiffened. He didn’t normally fear anyone, but Snoke...if Snoke found Poe, Rey and the others...

”That’s Snoke,” Connix said. “Since when did he come out of hiding?”

It was Kylo who stepped forward. Rey steppes after him. “Kylo, don’t,” she said. “If he sees you — ”

”It’s a risk I’m willing to take,” Kylo said. He stepped further forward, and Snoke’s face broke into a sort of firaxan shark like smile. 

It was enough to make Kylo shudder. 

“So this is where the mighty Kylo Ren has been hiding,” Snoke said. He was practically gloating. “Using the Resistance as a shield, I see? How cowardly of you.”

“They’re my comrades, not a shield,” Kylo said. “Not that you would know anything about that.”

Snoke’s grin became practically savage. “Your comrades? That’s what you call them now? Your loyalty is as fickle as ever. How amusing." A beat. His smile faded. “Every moment you hide behind your comrades, more people will die. More people will fall to the First Order, and you will have nothing but your own cowardice to blame.”

”I fear no one and nothing.”

”Then,” Snoke said, “Prove it." A beat. “Bring yourself over to my flagship, the _Annihilator,_ and from there...we shall see.” A beat. “Tell your Resistance vermin that they have twenty-four hours to decide.”

Snoke’s hologram faded, and Kylo was left shaken. The mess hall broke out in protest, arguing, some endorsing that Kylo he turned over, most disagreeing heatedly. 

It was General Organa who spoke up in that moment. “Enough!"

The mess hall fell silent, looking towards the General. Surely she would know what to do, really. Surely she could find a third option. 

“We don’t negotiate with tyrants,” she said. “Snoke is preying on our fear to turn us against each other; that’s how the Dark Side works. He is no fool. And if he has Kylo in his clutches, he will kill or turn him back to the Dark Side. That’s how the Dark Side works.”

”I have something to say,” Kylo said. 

The others turned to look at him. Kylo took a deep breath. “I’m not a fool. I know what Snoke is capable of — I’ve seen it first hand. Experienced it. He’s put us in a difficult position, but...” An idea struck him. “I think I have a plan.”

”Tell me,” General Organa said. 

“We ambush him. Using me as bait.” It was risky, Kylo knew that. “You engage his fleet, Rey and Poe will find ways to shut down the ship. Destroy it. I’ll take on Snoke.”

”You can’t take on Snoke alone,” Poe said. 

“Someone’s got to,” Kylo said. 

Rey spoke. “We can’t lose you, Kylo.”

”If you come with me, Snoke will see right through the plan,” Kylo said. “And...he will break both of you, as he did me. I can’t let that happen.” A beat. “I can’t lose you either. You don’t know what Snoke’s capable of. I do.”

Silence. 

“A third option is what we may need,” General Organa said. “But you can’t face Snoke alone. It’s foolhardy."

”It’s me he wants. I’m not dragging you into this.”

General Organa sighed. “Rey and Poe aren’t the only ones who can’t lose you, Ben.”

And for once, Kylo didn’t flinch at the name. “What if I prepared for it?”

***

Kylo collected what he could. Energy shields, stimulants, plenty more. Mostly thanks to his two lovers. Rey and Poe looked up at him. “I never thought it would end like this,” Rey said. 

“It won’t,” Kylo said. 

Poe spoke. “I lost you once, Kylo,” he said. “I can’t lose you again.”

”You won’t lose me again.” 

Kylo hugged them close, taking in their scents like it would be the last time he would smell them. “I promise.”

***

Their lovemaking that night was different. Their previous lovemaking had mostly been about experimenting, about discovery and excitement. Even as Kylo entered Rey in that moment, though, he felt a sense of urgency, a sense of need, like this was the last time he would see either her or Poe. Poe was gentle with her, comforting her, worshipping her breasts and flat expanse of her belly, Kylo standing as he entered her, again and again. He memorized Rey’s moans, her gasps and murmurs of the name “Kylo” again and again, memorized Poe’s humming, memorized both their Force presences, bright and resplendent, and he feared that he would burst with love for them. He memorized Rey’s climax, and his own, inside her, and later, the feeling of Poe’s hot, heavy shaft in his mouth. He memorized Poe’s hands gently stroking his hair, the praise he was murmuring. He loved him, loved Rey, and he would survive, for them and for his family and friends. He fought because he had something to fight for, no more, no less, and when Poe climaxed, he memorized the taste, strong and salty and uniquely Poe, and —

He lay there with them. The Raddus was no doubt in hyperspace now, and he lay with Rey and Poe, holding them both, promising that he would return home safely. 


	20. As It Was Meant To Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo’s plan is put into motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: We’re getting into the climax. Hold on, everyone. 
> 
> And yes, the chapter title is a KOTOR reference.

The shudder of the  _Raddus_ brought Kylo out of sleep. He sat up. Right now, he knew it was time to head out. To find Snoke and do what needed to be done. He had to confront him, he knew that much. Even looking down at Rey and Poe, who had sat up as well, he almost wished that things were different. Maybe there was a different galaxy where there was no Snoke, no First Order, and they could be happy. Maybe there was a galaxy where they could sleep in a little, stay a while. Maybe...

“I have to go,” he said. “Snoke’s waiting for me. And I have a feeling I have to take him down.”

“I wish you didn’t have to take him on alone,” Rey said. 

Kylo smiled at her. “Not alone. I have my friends, my family, and my pilot and princess to back me up. Even if I don’t see them.”

They hugged tightly, and Kylo got dressed. Poe was already rattling off things to try — grenades, stimulants, everything. “Fight with all uou’ve got if you have to,” he said. 

Kylo nodded. “I will.”

After getting dressed and breakfast, Kylo headed over to the shuttle. He said goodbye to his father, at least for the moment, and his mother. And Poe and Rey. 

“If there’s any problem, we’re coming to get you,” Han said. 

Kylo nodded. “I know.”

He looked out over the galactic sky through the windows, at the presence of Yavin IV below. Where it all began. Snoke must have chosen this as an almost symbolic gesture. He knew where it had all begun officially — Ben’s training, Luke’s attempted murder, Ben’s fall, leaving Poe behind. Kylo couldn’t think much of that planet except heartache and heartbreak. Now...now he had to change that. 

He stepped into the shuttle, sat in the pilot’s seat and started it up. Then he flew towards the _Annihilator,_ which stood out like a bird of prey against the starry galactic sky. It was poised like it was waiting for something. A chance to re-raze Yavin, perhaps. Kylo steered the shuttle into the hangar bay of the _Annihilator,_ remembering what exactly his father had taught him. Ships had a different way of moving. This was no exception. Kylo wasn’t, say, Poe or Rey in terms of piloting, but he was pretty good. 

He stepped out of the shuttle into the hangar. It was Captain Phasma who greeted him, along with her stormtroopers. “Kylo Ren,” she said coldly. “So good to have you back.”

”Take me to Snoke right away,” Kylo said. “It’s me he wants.”

The cuffs slid over his wrists smoothly. He could feel Rey’s fear in the Force, and Poe’s confusion and worry, and he sent a single message through the Force, never really thinking that he would actually reach into either of their minds again. _Everything’s going according to plan._

He hoped. 

Even in the turbolift, he turned to Phasma. “You don’t have to serve the First Order any longer, Captain.”

Phasma tilted her head. “You would think to dissuade me so easily?”

”I don’t want to hurt you. We served together, Phasma. For what it’s worth...I respected you.” 

A huff from behind Phasma’s chrome helmet. “Don’t think that pretty words can sway me to the side of your loathsome Resistance. Just because it worked with you.”

The turbolift opened. And Kylo heard Snoke’s familiar, hearty laugh. “Well done, Phasma. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

Phasma escorted Kylo towards Snoke. Hux was there too, a sneer quite evident on his face. It wouldn’t be easy, even if Hux was a tool, to fight against the people he had initially served with. 

“My prodigal apprentice,” Snoke said. “Welcome aboard.”

***

It was through the Force that Rey heard Kylo’s signal. Nothing verbal, but she knew what it meant. She and Poe had the mines that Finn and the Tico sisters had made. Now they were in separate parties — Rey and Poe on one shuttle with a cloaking device, Finn, Rose and Paige on another shuttle with a cloaking device. (Paige had said goodbye and good luck to Jess before she left, of course) And they entered the shuttles, steering them into the hangar. The shuttles decloaked, and the two parties disembarked.

”We just need to find the weak spots in the ship,” Rey said. “When I was reading Jedi history, that was how they blew up Darth Nihilus’ ship. Find the weak spots, and then plant the mines there.”

Rose nodded. “If we can download a layout of Snoke’s ship, we’ll know where to plant the mines!”

Rey grinned. She already liked Rose Tico. Even as they hacked into the system and downloaded the schematics, Rey noticed the options for the ship. Explode the power conduits. Shut down the guard droids up ahead and the turrets. She turned to Rose and nodded, and Rose set off the conduits. 

Rey flinched even as she felt lives being snuffed out in the Force. That, however, was forced to be short-lived even as the door burst open and stormtroopers flooded into the room. 

They fought, Finn using Anakin’s lightsaber, Rey using her own, and Poe, Paige and Rose using their blasters. The stormtroopers fell, and the group moved on towards the hallway. 

***

Over in Snoke’s throne room, Snoke laughed. It was the sort of laugh that Kylo was too familiar with, the laugh that suggested scorn and sadism. “Oh, I didn’t expect you to be such a coward, Kylo Ren. Sending a mere band of misfits to defeat my men.” He spoke into his comlink. “Monk...there are intruders on this flagship. Destroy them.”

Kylo froze. He’d good as condemned Rey and the others to death. Or torture. 

“Phasma,” Snoke said. “You’ll be joining them.”

Phasma left. Kylo could already feel her pleasure in terms of the very thought of killing his lovers and their teammates. 

Snoke turned back to him. “What words of comfort did you give them before you sent them off to die?” he said. 

“I never wanted — ”

”Perhaps you thought you could beat me?” Snoke said disdainfully. “I cannot be beaten. And you...you can never be anything but Ren. You may have dropped that name, but you will never be able to scrub the darkness from your soul, nor the blood from your hands. You are a monster. You have no place in this story; you never have.”

”I was a monster. But that part of me is dead.” Kylo inhaled. “And you can’t take that from me.” A beat. “There are numerous Resistance ships on their way, Snoke. Your ship won’t survive this battle.”

Snoke laughed. “You’re going to kill me? And you say you’ve risen above the Dark. You claim to be a Jedi, yet you feed on anger and hate.”

”I’m a Gray Jedi,” Kylo said. “And I don’t fight you out of hate.” In the end, he felt nothing but a certainty and a freedom that he’d never felt before. “Only out of necessity.”

The Praetorian Guards readied themselves in defense of their Supreme Leader. Snoke gestured them back. “Stand back. This is my fight. At least this ‘Gray Jedi’ whelp can provide some entertainment.”

Snoke drew his lightsaber, a double-bladed red saber. Kylo drew his silver lightsaber. Snoke looked down at Kylo’s lightsaber with some disdain, before twirling his own as a sort of challenge. Rushing towards Snoke would only end in Snoke overpowering him quickly; Kylo had learned that from his training seesions. Instead, he took one of the grenades Poe had given him, and threw it. 

Snoke was knocked back, along with Kylo and the other Praetorian Guards. Even watching one of the guards fall into the grinder, Kylo winced. They weren’t evil, the Guards. They merely served a profoundly evil being. Other guards, some of them, died instantly from the blast. The remaining guards charged at Kylo, ready to avenge their fallen comrades, only for Kylo to freeze them with the Force. Snoke stumbled to his feet, clearly dazed at the force of the thermal detonator. Then, “So you do have a spark of competence in you after all, my treacherous apprentice.”

”I learned from the worst,” Kylo said. 

Kylo and Snoke dueled, back and forth, Snoke formidable despite his frailty. Kylo was kept on his toes, though remembering what Rey had done kept him from completely failing. Snoke slashed at him, cut, and Kylo barely avoided his swipes. 

They fought, as they were wont to do, former Master and former apprentice, in a throne room with curtains like blood. 


	21. Serenity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final battle against Snoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Warning for mind rape on Snoke’s part.

The hallway was clear. Now, Rey could say, she could start planting the bombs. She couldn’t help but be anxious, though — she could already feel Kylo struggling against Snoke. She tensed, feeling like her whole body had become a live wire...

”Can you feel it?” Poe said. 

Rey nodded. “He’s strong, but he can’t take on Snoke all by himself.” She couldn’t just abandon the group, but at the same time, she couldn’t just leave Kylo to his fate. Snoke would break him. If Snoke won...

Kylo’s reassurance all but echoed over the Force. He was holding his ground, still standing. That was more than enough. The man that she and Poe both loved with all their being was still alive. That was what mattered the most.

That was what they needed.

***

Silver. Red. Silver. Red. That was the way of the duel, the way of the old master vs. apprentice game. Snoke was frail physically, but in terms of skill and practice he was no slouch. Kylo knew that much.

”So there is strength in my apprentice after all,” Snoke said, and if Kylo didn’t know better, he’d say that there was something resembling admiration in his former master’s voice. “And here I thought you were just pathetic.”

”I’m stronger than I was when I was with you,” Kylo said.

Snoke chuckled. “Do you think you’ll be forgiven, Kylo Ren? Do you think that after all the crimes you’ve committed in my name, others will willingly accept you back? You’ve never belonged anywhere. Not in the First Order, and certainly not in the Resistance.”

”You’re wrong. I do belong with two someones.”

Snoke raised an eyebrow. “Indeed?”

”Yes. With Poe and Rey. They gave me something to fight for.”

Their lightsabers continued to clash. Kylo wasn’t about to be held back by who he used to be. It didn’t work like that. Not any longer.

They seemed just about evenly matched. Their lightsabers pressed together, one trying to overwhelm the other. It was a technique that Snoke had taught him during training. Don’t fight fair. Assume that your opponent fights as dirty as you do.

They fought, and Snoke took his other hand, gestured — and Kylo felt a familiar sensation that he had felt the first time that Snoke had met him. He was lifted into the air, and it hurt, it all hurt —

“You cannot win, stupid boy,” Snoke said. “No matter how hard you try.”

Kylo screamed. 

***

A flash of agony came across the Force, and Rey gripped her head, digging her nails in tightly. Kylo was in pain. She had to get to him.

”Is he — ?” Poe said.

”Rey, we’ve got company!” Finn shouted.

Rey raised her head to see a figure in a death’s head mask coming down the hallway, his lightsaber drawn. She stood. And a sort of anger that she hadn’t felt before, fierce and nexu-like, clawed its way free.

She lunged at the figure. Poe fired off bolt after bolt, some the figure was able to block, some that it wasn’t able to. Red met bronze, trying to dodge her double blades, but Rey could feel her anger overwhelming her. Snoke was hurting her Ben, their Ben, and — and —

The lightsaber cut through the helmet, scarring the figure’s face. Rey was startled to see that underneath it was a young woman no younger than Kylo. She carefully removed the death head’s mask, looking at the grisly scar cut into the woman’s cheek.

 _Rey_. _Poe_.

 She raised her head. She had nearly teetered over the edge.

_Keep going. Mine the ship._

Rey stood. She was not going to fall to the Dark Side. No matter what it took.

***

It had been the shock of Thania Ren, or the Monk, being wounded that had snapped Snoke out of torturing Kylo. Snoke’s eyes grew wide, almost enraged. “How dare she — a mere _girl..._ besting one of my own?”

”She’s trained.” Kylo got up from his heap on the floor. “And now she’s stronger than ever. And she did what I could not, and what you could not: resisted the Dark Side.”

Snoke snarled. “The Dark is power. The Light is no match for it. If you had not spent so much time being drawn to the Light, if you had not been weak, you would have known.”

Kylo stood. “You know so little about the Force, Snoke. The Dark is only a part of what it is. I read through the history of the Jedi and the Sith, and I doubt I’ve scratched the surface. And if I’m weak...why haven’t you beaten me yet?” 

“You always had too much of your father’s heart in you.”

”And I’m proud of it.”

Snoke actually looked flabbergasted. Then angry. “You are nothing. In every conceivable way.”

Kylo twirled his saber. 

The onslaught of Force Lightning was redirected back at Snoke.

Snoke howled. Kylo watched, horrified — even when he had been training as a Dark Sider, he had mostly drawn on defensive powers. Pushing people across the room, for example. Shocks like this...they were gratuitous, pure sadism. He’d had an aversion to it after Snoke had occasionally used it to punish him and his Knights. Eventually, the onslaught stopped, and Kylo saw Snoke fall to the ground, smoking, his face twisted with the Force Lightning.

”Not weak...I am...not weak.” Snoke forced himself to his feet, his strength obviously weakened. Kylo looked at him, feeling no anger this time, no hatred. No affection. Merely pity, because Snoke was already waning — all he needed to do was admit it. “Not against...a mere whelp like you...”

”It seems the Master has some learning to do too.”

Snoke snarled, then coughed. “You...cannot beat me. You’re nothing. You came from nothing. You have no talent, no certainty, no will...”

”Not anymore.” Kylo took a deep breath. “I won’t give you the satisfaction of killing you. That’s in the Resistance’s hands.”

He froze Snoke. The remaining Guards rushed at him, and Kylo used the Force to knock the, back. Hux was next — he froze Hux, before comming Rey and Poe. “I’m done here,” he said. “And I have prisoners.”

”Great,” Rey said. “Finn was amazing. He just took down Phasma. She’s not dead, just unconscious. We’ve got a lot of prisoners.”

”You did wonderfully,” Kylo said. “All of you.” There would be a lot of tidying up to do. And then there was the matter of what they would do with him. 

He supposed he would never know until they got back.


	22. The Trial of the First Order

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The First Order faces judgment for their crimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Mining the ship was easy from there, and blowing it up — by then, the stormtroopers who were stationed on the  _Annihilator_ were dead, and the group had made its way back to the  _Raddus._ General Organa could only look at the prone figure of the former Supreme Leader Snoke on the shuttle, and her face hardened into a look of the utmost contempt. “So this is the monster that haunted you so long,” she said. “I should have been able to protect you from him, Ben. I’m sorry.”

”Not your fault,” Kylo said.

”No, it was. I thought...Luke could help you. I was wrong.” 

Kylo smiled faintly. “You didn’t exactly have Force visions.”

”If I had told your father...who knows what would have happened?”

”I don’t know,” Kylo said. “But I’m here. I’m all right. Or I will be.”

***

The Republic was already in the process of being rebuilt, so there was no Republic courtroom to try Snoke (who had been healed by Kalonia) and his compatriots. Leia Organa and Amilyn Holdo — and that was a blast from the past if Kylo had ever seen one — presided over the trials, and though they kept calm, Kylo could feel the anger and hatred emanating from them towards these beings. And Kylo got to hear those beings speak.

Justify themselves. Hux’s justification for annihilating the Hosnian system turned Kylo’s stomach, and Snoke’s gloating Kylo could corroborate. Phasma was calm in delivering her testimony, almost icy compared to her compatriots, like she was reciting facts from a holobook.

Judging by the looks on Rey and Poe’s faces, they weren’t ready for this.

It was Amilyn Holdo who delivered the closing sentence. “The First Order’s acts, as they have been, have been an atrocity. An atrocity that is so heinous that there are no words in any language to describe the pain of all combined. Child abuse. Abduction. Torture. Mind rape. Preying on a child. Genocide and mass murder. The list goes on, for how can I sum up such heinous acts? They are numerous. One builds on the other.” Holdo paused. “Snoke is, of course, the man behind every atrocity. The mastermind behind every act of depravity. I hereby order him to be stripped of the Force itself as punishment for what he did, and imprisoned for his crimes.”

Snoke’s face froze in what Kylo could honestly describe as a look of disdain. “You aren’t a Jedi. You can’t do this.”

”I can’t,” Holdo said. “But others can.”

It was Rey who ultimately stripped him of the Force, while Kylo coaxed her. Even watching it, watching her calm face, Kylo couldn’t help but be unsettled. Watching energy seem to stream out of Snoke and into Rey...

And then it was done. Snoke sat there, stripped of his powers, and he seemed to grasp the reality that he had been beaten. Force and belief, defeated so easily.

***

Hux was next, imprisoned, and then Phasma — also imprisoned. Even watching them be cuffed, Kylo supposed he ought to feel relief. Instead, he felt empty...empty except for the touch of Poe’s hand on his own. Then Rey’s. 

His trial was up next. He told them, told them everything. About everything that had happened. He didn’t bother trying to excuse what he did at Tuanul, or to both his lovers, or to Lor San Tekka. But he told the truth, and after that...after that, he was tired. Tired of telling his story over and over again. 

It was Holdo who exiled him to Dantooine. “You are more complicated, Kylo,” she said. “You caused so much pain. And at the same time, you did what people like Hux and Phasma didn’t: you tried to atone for your actions. And what has been done to you is also an atrocity. Dantooine may heal you. In more ways than one.”

Kylo could hope.

General Organa spoke. “Amilyn, please. I’ve lost my son once; I can’t again.”

”You won’t,” Holdo said. “And he won’t be alone.”

Han spoke up. “You can’t do this. Not after I tried so hard to get him back...”

Holdo looked at Han with sympathy. “We can still work out an...arrangement of sorts.”

”Tell me,” Leia said.

***

It was later that Kylo left for the hangar, Rey and Poe at his side. He’d said goodbye to his parents, who had hugged him as hard as they could, like he would slip away if they let go. He turned to look at Rey. “I never thought this would end.”

”It has.” Rey said. “We won.”

Poe grinned. “Exactly.”

And it sank in for Kylo for the first time since he had left Starkiller Base with his father — the fact that he was, finally, home.


	23. Epilogue: Fairy Tales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is happiness, to quote Stephen King, and they live.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Author’s Notes: We’ve officially reached the end of this story. I’ve been thinking about a sequel, but...we’ll definitely see. Also, could not resist this Dark Tower reference.

_Eight Years Later_

 

“Daddy!”

Five year old Anna (or Annie) Solo practically barreled into the former Kylo Ren’s arms. Kylo Ren was no more than a bad memory for him, and his family on Dantooine proved it. Poe stood off to the side, grinning in amusement as the man now named Ben Solo (as he’d chosen when he first arrived on Dantooine) scooped his daughter up and kissed her cheek. 

“How’s my brave little warrior?” Ben said. “Did you have a good time with Papa?”

Annie grinned, talking at length about how she and Poe had played with her toy X-wings that Uncle Finn had gotten her for last fete. Ben and Rey listened, smiling all the while as she talked about the adventures they’d enacted, like mock space-battles in the peaceful Dantooine fields. Dantooine was surviving, rebuilding — complacent and peaceful, it seemed to have almost forgotten Snoke setting fire to its skies eight years before. But it was healed. Ben, Rey and Poe had seen to that, as had Amilyn Holdo and Leia Organa’s work in trying to rebuild it.

”I wanna be a pilot when I grow up, like Papa!” Annie said.

Ben grinned. “You’ll be a great pilot, sweetie. Mark my words.”

They headed inside, where they got Annie ready for bed, as well as getting ready for bed themselves.

It was Ben who scooped up Annie again and placed her in her bed — a simple one with X-wings covering the coverlet. Annie looked up at him with huge hazel eyes that reminded him so much of Rey’s. “Tell me a story, Daddy?”

Ben paused. “All right,” he said. “I could tell you about Revan and Bastila...”

Annie shook her head. “I wanna hear about how you won the war with the First Order!”

Ben swallowed. “All right.” The question was how he was going to explain it all to a five year old. “Once upon a time, there was a boy who dreamed of being a pilot like his father. Although he grew up like a prince, the boy was often lonely, except for two beings — an evil dragon, and a pilot. The best pilot in the galaxy, and the most beautiful man in the galaxy as he grew older.”

Annie nodded eagerly. “Papa?”

”Yeah,” Ben said. “Your papa. None other. He was truly the most beautiful man in the galaxy, and the man with a pure heart. It was no wonder the boy, who had become eighteen, fell in love with him. The dragon and the pilot fought over the young man’s soul like kath hounds over a piece of meat. It was the young man’s uncle, put under a terrible spell by the dragon, that forced the young man to flee and become the dragon’s personal knight. Together...they did terrible things.”

Annie’s eyes were wide. Ben lightly kissed her forehead. “But something happened that the knight never foresaw. To begin with, his father the king broke the spell put on him by the dragon and took him home.”

Annie grinned widely. “Grandpa?”

”Yeah. A gentle and wise king, and a loving father. The knight came home and fell in love with the pilot once more, as well as a beautiful princess from the Jakku desert. Kind, powerful, wise, pure-hearted and beautiful, the princess in turn fell in love with the pilot and the knight.”

“Mama!” Annie said.

Ben laughed. “Yes. The pilot and the princess made him better, and healed the wounds that the dragon inflicted on him. Whatever he broke, they made whole. The knight’s mother, the Queen, in turn led a brave army that toppled the dragon’s order and defeated them. The survivors were imprisoned for their crimes and the dragon lost his powers.” Ben paused. “The knight was sent to Dantooine with the princess and the pilot to build the Gray Jedi Order. And there was happiness, and they did live.”

He ended the story, and it was there that he saw Rey and Poe standing in the doorway, smiling. Annie’s eyes were luminous. “I’m glad, Daddy, that the knight...wasn’t cursed forever.”

”I am too, little warrior. More than you know.” Ben kissed the top of her head. “Get some sleep.”

It was long after Annie had fallen asleep that Rey turned towards Ben. “You really were laying it on thick, Ben,” she said, but she was smiling.

”It’s a fairytale,” Ben said. “There’s bound to be exaggeration in some places.”

“Obviously,” Poe said lightly. 

The three of them laughed. Then Ben smiled softly at them. “I love you, both of you,” he said. “My pilot and my princess.”

They both smiled at him. They already knew.


End file.
